


in the end, i wanna be standing at the beginning with you

by radiowrittenheart



Category: Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Dorks in Love, Drabble Collection, Established Relationship, Evolution of a relationship, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Romance, Various themes, a crapload of AU's, cute shit, melt in feels over here, precanon, prompt collection, shipping collection, wibbly-wobbly timeline
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-01 11:08:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 48
Words: 30,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4017457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radiowrittenheart/pseuds/radiowrittenheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompts and drabbles chronicling the lives and times of a part-time hero and his ever-faithful sidekick, with all of the wild adventures they endure - along with a romantic relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "Just shut up & kiss me."

**Author's Note:**

> I have officially sold my soul to this ship- and I regret nothing! So here y'all go, a collection of prompts for these cuties.  
> ~  
> p.s.; this series won't be in order, it's just prompts published whenever i feel like it.

_**44\. "Just shut up & kiss me."** _

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Sashi was staring at him, bluntly and duly. This mission was already going off course, but no- of course, Penn felt like he had to take charge, acting like king of the mountain- and yet, despite his confidence that was as flamboyant as his gaudy Captain’s hat, no one was paying attention to him. Even Boone found better things to do; wherever he was now on this massive ship.

“Alright, is everyone clear of the plan?” Penn declared, with his broadest, most heroic smile-

-and every single one of the mates on deck were ignoring him.

It was a good thing that he had his back turned, or else he would have seen Sashi stifling laughter at this predicament.

“My trusty first mate!” Penn declared, turning around and slapping Sashi on the back. “Do you agree to the plan?”

“Well,” Sashi mused. She adjusted her specs, staring at the deck of the ship, then out to the horizon, where the enemy’s ship was slowly approaching. “It’s extremely flawed, Captain.” She ignored his shocked expression, and continued; “An ambush isn’t much of a plan, it’s spontaneous, every person for themself-”

“-it is not!” Penn protested.

Clearly, the whole Captain of a pirate ship gig was getting to his head…

“Yes, it is,” Sashi protested. “We need something solid.”

“You dare question the word of the Captain?” Penn retorted, with a bit of a smirk.

“As a matter of fact, I do,” Sashi declared. And in the blink of an eye, she unsheathed the dagger from her hip, and held it out. “But then again, why should we argue about this with useless words? Perhaps we should settle this like reasonable people.” She cocked an eyebrow, and softly chuckled under her breath. “Unless, of course, you’d like to hear my plan.”

Penn realized what she was getting at, and he slightly bowed, producing his own sword. “I’d never turn down a battle, m’lady-” However, once the words left his lips, he found himself ducking from the stab of a dagger.

Sashi’s eyes were cold but her smirk was playful. “I am not your lady,” she declared.

With that said, the two of them began at it, and now, it seemed that the mates and scalawags on deck had something entertaining to see. The first mate and the Captain were going at it, blades clashing and playful gibes being shot at one another, laughter and smirks shared. While Penn was agile and quick, Sashi had two steps ahead of him, knowing what he would do before he did it-

-which was why everyone was on the edge of their seat as they noticed the first mate somehow manage to shove the Captain down onto the deck and snatch his sword.

“So that plan of yours?” Penn said, with a nervous chuckle as the sword came scarily close to his face.

“I’ll tell you in exchange for something,” Sashi crooned.

“My life?” he retorted.

“Now, now, Captain Zero,  you know that I’m not cruel,” she laughed, bending down on one knee and looking down at him. “All I ask is that you shut up and kiss me.”

Penn bit back a laugh. “That sounds manageable,” he said simply.

However, he could barely finish his sentence before his first mate grabbed him by the ridiculously frilly collar of his shirt and pulled him into a kiss. It ended sooner than both of them would like, but then again, Penn had to admit, watching Sashi get up and throw the dagger down did make her look like a Queen, even if she was in the rags of a pirate.

“Alright, worms!” she yelled to the crew, pointing the sword in the air. “Let’s snap Blackbeard’s neck!”


	2. "We should go on a date. An official one."

_**26\. “We should go out on a date. An official one.”** _

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“I feel underdressed,” Sashi mumbled. “Why didn’t you tell me what we were doing tonight?”

“Because that would ruin the fun of it,” Penn replied. He adjusted his t-shirt with the tuxedo print, and got out of the driver’s seat of the car, dashing over to the other side to hold open the door for her. “Now come on, I promised you a real date, and that’s what you’re getting.”

Sashi let out a sigh. “I didn’t think you were serious,” she mused, while getting out and looking at the fancy restaurant. For crying out loud, it was so fancy she couldn’t even read the name of it.

And here they were, two teenagers, dressed in t-shirts and jeans, entering a place that seemed far too elite for either of them. As far as Sashi could remember, all of their dates had been simple things; they went to the movie theater once in a while, if they had dinner, it was takeout, maybe they would just go for a simple walk or bike ride, and sometimes, they would go to each other’s house and play video games. Simply put, they didn’t do typical dates, seeing how Penn didn’t know how to approach Sashi’s blunt protest against sappy romance when they had started dating.

Now, he was doing all of this; he had picked her up in a hot rod he had somehow magically snuck out of the Odyssey’s garage, they had just gotten back from a live concert of Sashi’s favorite indie rock band Penn had somehow managed to get tickets to, and now, he was treating her to dinner at Middleburg’s classiest restaurant?

She was honestly appalled at everything. She had no idea why he was doing this for her, but that definitely wasn’t to say she was complaining.

“Zero, reservation for two,” Penn said.

The waiter eyed both of them, and nodded. “Table seven,” he replied in a haughty accent, pointing to the only empty table in the back.

Sashi felt like kicking herself for blushing when Penn took her hand and led her to the back of the building, where their booth awaited them. Sitting across from each other, waiting for a server to approach them, they shared a smile; Penn’s radiating his usual adorable cockiness, while Sashi was still perplexed by all of this.

Both of their glasses had already been filled with ginger ale, or sparkling cider, or something of that sort, and so Penn lifted his glass.

“A toast, to our first official date,” he declared.

“To our first official date then,” Sashi replied, lifting her own glass and clinking it against his.

Penn sipped his drink, and stared at her with a nod. “Oh, and Sash?” he mused. “Happy birthday.”

Sashi’s breath caught in her throat as she stared at him through the pale candlelight of the room. Of course. That was why he picked this specific night. How could she be so stupid to forget her own birthday?

“How did you-?” she stammered.

“I have my ways,” he said simply.

A breathless laugh escaped her, and she shook her head. “Penn Zero, I could kiss you right now,” she whispered.

Penn bestowed the sort of smirk that Sashi wanted to slap off of his face. “Too bad you don’t like PDA, because I’m down for that right now,” he teased.

Instead, Sashi reached across the table and held his hand. The crinkles of his smile, the playful spark in his eyes, the silliness of his unruly hair, his dumb soft chuckle, this boy was a present in himself.

“Thank you,” she murmured.

“No need,” he replied, lifting her hand and kissing the back of it.


	3. "Get back into bed."

_**100\. “Get back into bed.”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

“Don’t even think about it,” Sashi growled as she placed another kiss on Penn’s neck and kept him restrained under the blankets.

“Sash, we have a mission today,” he protested.

“Today is a Sunday,” she mumbled. “The entire flippin’ Earth can go through another Ice Age for all I care, we are not saving the world today.” A yawn escaped her, and she snuggled closer into her boyfriend. “Besides, you make a very good pillow.”

Penn playfully groaned. “You’re not very good at persuading,” he said.

Sashi raised an eyebrow. “Oh, am I?” she replied. “Then how come you’re still here? Why don’t you leave and get yourself killed by some psychotic multi-universe demon?”

“You know what, that sounds like fun,” Penn spoke up. “I’m going to go do that, right now.”

“No, _no_ -” Sashi literally whined as her boyfriend rolled out of bed, leaving her alone.

Needless to say, Penn was amused when he watched her take a pillow and hold it over her face, blocking out the sun and _the sight of his stupid cute face_ -

-he nudged her, and she ignored it.

“C’mon, don’t be like that,” he teased.

As expected of her, Sashi stayed still, hidden under her blanket and pillow. She ignored every little movement and supposed encouragement from her boyfriend, until he grabbed her hand out from under the blanket, and tugged on it, trying to get her out of bed.

Penn let out a frustrated groan. “It’s half past noon-”

Sashi yanked him by the arm and pulled him back onto the mattress, eliciting a surprised yelp from him. “Like I said,” she chuckled. “Let Earth freeze over.”

With a defeated sigh, Penn shook his head. “I take it back,” he replied. “You are a very good persuader.”

“That is true,” she said. “Also, let’s face it-” She kissed his cheek. “You would die without me.”


	4. "Our kid got sent to the principal’s office today."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this takes place in the future, there are aged-up characters and original characters.

_**86\. "Our kid got sent to the principal’s office today."** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

“Ah, Ms. Kobayashi, Mr. Zero,” the headmistress said, with a false smile. “I was starting to think you didn’t receive my call.”

Sashi managed a stiff shake of her head. “I was on a case,” she said simply.

The headmistress’s laugh came out a little shaky, but she cleared her throat and folded her hands. “Yes, as the chief of police, I’m sure you’re often busy-”

“-it was a different sort of case,” Sashi interrupted, briefly glancing to Penn, who could barely hide his smirk. “Now, we were told that one of our girls was in a fight?”

“Yes; your daughters have quite the temper,” the headmistress explained, with a somewhat exasperated tone of voice. “We’ve tried everything; separating them into different classes, putting them in extracurricular activities, visits with the guidance counselors, making them spend time after school, but nothing seems to work.” She stared sternly at the couple sitting across the way. “You _do_ realize that they will face expulsion if they get involved in another confrontation.”

Penn’s jaw nearly dropped. “We’ve already sent them to three different-”

“I understand,” Sashi said simply, cutting off her husband, not even bothering to glare at him.

“The thing is, though,” the headmistress mused. “Xena and Loralei seem like lovely girls, when they’re not picking fights with their fellow students.”

Sashi’s smile was cold and forced - and it was very clear to see. “We’ll try to keep them under control,” she assured.

She decided to ignore Penn reaching out for her hand, perhaps in a way to comfort her. Well, that wasn’t going to work- she kept both hands in her lap, clasped and fingers intertwined. There was an awkward silence, only before the headmistress cleared her throat and pressed the announcement button.

“Would Loralei Zero please come to the office?” she declared. The headmistress nodded to Penn and Sashi, and gave another fake grin. “She should be here soon.”

Both of them gave a courteous nod as they exited the office, each one radiating different emotions.

More or less, Penn was nervous, while Sashi was practically fuming.

“I never even taught them how to fight,” she growled. “Xena just had to pass on her instinct-”

“-Sash, come on, they’ve seen you go at it with the punching bag enough to pick up some things,” Penn retorted. “The two of them combined could probably kill a man, and they’re only seven years old.”

“I hate it when you’re right,” Sashi groaned.

Penn actually had to stifle a chuckle, while his wife finally managed to glare at him. With a huff, Sashi rolled her eyes and decided to ignore him. After standing there for a few minutes, checking her wristwatch every other second, she was honestly surprised to see the younger of her twin daughters shuffle down the hall. Obviously, the glare and stance was enough to frighten the grade-school girl and she practically cowered before her mother, while clutching onto her father, silently begging for mercy.

With a wave of her hand at her daughter’s disheveled appearance, Sashi raised an eyebrow. “Care to explain?” she asked.

Loralei brushed a frizzy curl out of her face, and adjusted her taped-together glasses. “Someone shoved me off of the seesaw,” she mumbled.

Suddenly, Sashi’s expression slightly softened as she noticed Penn covering his mouth with a hand to prevent from laughing.

“I know that story all too well,” she said.

“We both do,” Penn chuckled, lifting up his daughter.

“So am I still punished?” Loralei pouted.

Sashi bit her lip, and shook her head. “We’ll think about it,” she said, her voice a little softer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the fight Loralei was involved with is a reference to my headcanon of how Penn & Sashi first met; displayed in this fic- http://archiveofourown.org/works/3683067


	5. "I can't be scared."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO CLICHE.

_**55\. “I can’t be scared.”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

Penn could have sworn he thought that he was hallucinating. There was no way in Heaven or Hell that the sight before him was real. All he had done was go off to try and fetch some dry firewood with Boone (who was still having trouble cutting down his tree, insisting he would get it done on his own), and they had assigned Sashi to stand watch. Well, okay, perhaps she volunteered, but either way, she was supposed to be doing a job. And to be honest, Penn had expected her to go through with it, but hey, if she had fallen asleep, he wouldn’t have blamed her…

...but the thing was, Sashi wasn’t sleeping. She was sitting in the corner of the cave, a few feet away from the fire-

-no. He was seeing things-

-it was impossible-

-then again, Penn couldn’t deny the fact he heard sniffling over the loud booms of the storm outside their shelter.

“Hey, Sash? You okay?” he spoke up as he threw some logs onto the fire.

“Just a little cold,” she mumbled. Despite this statement, Sashi didn’t edge closer to their only source of warmth on this dense, empty and wild jungle. “Where’s Boone?”

Penn shrugged, and poked at the kindling. “He was convinced he could cut down an entire tree,” he retorted, with a slight eye roll. “I’ll have to go back for him if he’s not back in a few minutes.” He was perplexed by his sidekick’s blank face. Typically, she got a rise out of Boone’s silly antics.

“Oh,” was the only thing Sashi could manage.

She continued sitting in the corner, staring out at the deadly dense rain forest before them. Keyword; rain. While Sashi kept gazing out to the horizon, she also continued to look at the black clouds in the sky, with bright white lightning striking out behind it. Rain was practically beating down on everything along the surface, which soaked the entire region. And, like most heavy storms, thunder was the background music to this vicious dance of nature.

And it wasn’t as if he meant to stare- but Penn’s eyes slightly widened when he saw something he thought he would never see. Did Sashi just wipe at her eyes?

Yup. She lifted her glasses and brushed right under her eyes. It couldn’t have been raindrops, they were in a dry area…

...he wasn’t sure how to react.

“You okay?” he repeated.

“Yes,” Sashi snapped- however, just as she answered him, a loud clap of thunder echoed through the jungle and she suddenly let out a shriek, backing away even further, until her back was right up against the wall of the cave.

Penn went rigid. Sashi Kobayashi could never be the girl who was curled up into herself, breathing heavily and clasping a hand over her mouth to silence her whimpers … but it didn’t do much good, seeing how how he could hear it. She almost seemed helpless, not fearless. In all the years Penn had known her, he was pretty sure that he had never seen her like this. He was almost scared too- scared for her.

And maybe, in other circumstances, he would have made fun of her, but his tone of voice was gentle as he looked at her and said, “What? Are you freaked out by thunderstorms?”

Sashi knew it was futile to lie, but she shook her head anyway. She slightly scurried across the cave floor, trying to edge away when Penn scooted over.

“I’m fine,” she choked out.

“You don’t look it,” he muttered.

“I’m tired-”

“-then why aren’t you sleeping?”

“I have to stand guard-”

“-explain the screaming and crying.”

With a heavy breath, Sashi brushed her hands on her skirt and went still. “Will you take my place as watch duty?” she whispered.

Penn nodded. “Sure,” he said.

Sashi bit both of her lips, and turned away from him, rubbing her arms as she sat a little closer to the fire. She was obviously trying to put on a brave face now, but it was clear to see that she was wincing with each thunderclap, and tears were fogging up the lenses of her specs. She didn’t even bother to take them off and clean them, she just sat there, trying to control her shaking-

-then, it finally stopped, or rather, ceased a little when her trembling hands were taken and intertwined with Penn’s skinny, pale ones.

“Hey,” he murmured. “It’s okay.”

“I shouldn’t be acting like a dumb kid over something so stupid,” she mumbled, letting her touch trail over the callouses and contours of his hands. They were working hands, hero’s hands, for sure. And they were unbelievably warm, a type of warmth that made all of her nerves tingle.

Penn gently reached out and lifted her face up. “It’s okay,” he repeated.

“Is it?” Sashi said hoarsely.

“Yeah,” he assured.

Releasing a breath that she had been holding ever since he came back into the cave, Sashi tried to loosen up a little and she cuddled in closer. Warmth, security, a sense of hope. She’d be safe for now.


	6. "Am I even human?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *stamps AU all over this one*

_**133\. “Am I even human?”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

_“This is bionic sidekick,” Phyllis declared. “Every new hero and wiseman get one.”_

_Boone frowned. “Aw, man, why couldn’t she be a hot girl?” he muttered. However, once the sentence made it past his lips, the robotic girl’s arm stretched out and slapped him right across the face. “Hey! What the crap is wrong with her? Is she malfunctioning?!”_

_Phyllis smirked, and placed her hands on her hips. “I might have put few fighting qualities in her,” she said, tapping her newest creation. “Introduce self.”_

_“Nice to meet you both. I’m Sashi.”_

_Surprisingly, the voice was like any regular teenage girl. High-pitched, but not too high. Inviting, simple. Not technologically modified at all._

_“Wow, Phyllis,” Penn mused. “You’ve outdone yourself.” He thrust his hand out to the bionic sidekick. “Welcome to our team, Sashi.”_

_When she took his hand, it was clear to see Phyllis made this sidekick convincing as possible; the cyborg - Sashi - her skin wasn’t metal. Some sort of synthetic fabric, perhaps. Almost close enough to pass off as real, human skin._

_“Thank you for having me,” she replied stoically._

_At least Phyllis had bothered to program smiles into the thing…_

 

**••••••**

 

“Oh, come on, didn’t you figure it out?!” Penn snapped. “I mean, you’re not exactly normal!”

“So that’s all you think of me?” Sashi shot back. “A hunk of metal, a pawn to use in your missions?!” Of all the things that could have been programmed into her, it had to have been emotions. Or maybe, an illusion of emotion. Something of that sort. Either way, she was mad, frustrated, upset, every sort of distressed feeling in the world.

Penn stood still, and he managed a weak shrug. “It’s why you were created,” he said simply.

Sashi’s heavy hand lifted to slap him - but she stopped in the middle of her action. She was capable of other ways to hurt him for the cruel truths he was saying…

...instead, her face contorted into what looked like crying.

Then again, a robot couldn’t be able to shed tears, no matter how much advanced technology.

“I’m sorry,” Penn stammered. “But that’s how part-time hero teams go these days. Hero and wiseman get a bionic sidekick. The former generations lost too many members, so they knocked off the easiest link.” He took her hand from the air, lowering it and holding it.

Cold. Still. Unusually perfect.

“What the hell is wrong with me?” he muttered.

“I don’t know,” she said. If she could have whispered, she would have.

She was an advanced intelligence. She could see that this strange human had an affinity with her.

“I’m sorry that I can’t feel like that. I don’t know how.”

“Don’t apologize for something so stupid,” Penn sighed. “I’m the idiot.”

Sashi paused, and let go of his hand. “I’ll ask Phyllis to wipe my memory card,” she declared.

Penn nodded. That would be the best option… and if only it was that easy for him.


	7. "You're my prince from the fairytale."

_**155\. “You’re my prince from the fairytale.”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

“Boone! Tell us you found the prophecy!” Penn yelled- well, rather, exclaimed through song. Oh, how he despised all of the singing in this world…

“Uh… gimme a minute, dude-” Boone was flipping through the massive tome he had gotten his hands on from the vicious three-headed dogs that had been guarding it. “Pretzels, puppies, pop music, where’s the dumb prophecy to break the curse?!”

Meanwhile, Sashi was still using a bow and arrow to shoot at the enchanted tree-branch snakes. “Running out of time here!” she growled.

Finally, with a wave of his wand, Boone found the page. “Okay, okay, the prophecy is that this chaos curse can only be broken with … true love’s high five?” he muttered.

“What kind of garbage is that?!” Sashi argued, snatching the book and reading the text. “Fine, who are the true loves?” However, her own question was answered when she noticed the sketch of the knight and the Princess, high-fiving. And of course, not just any knight and Princess. “Oh, brother. You’ve got to be kidding.”

“The fate of the mission depends on us high-fiving?!” Penn groaned. “We could have done that earlier and gotten everything over with!”

“Let’s just get it over with,” Sashi retorted as she shot another arrow at one more colony of tree-branch snakes.

They both lifted their hands and smacked them against each other-

-and Sashi was suddenly surprised when she was pulled down into a dip.

“For good measure,” Penn teased as he stole a kiss just as the entire curse was reversed.

Sashi’s face lit up with a blush, and she would never admit that she let out a surprised squeak. Once light exploded and there was a soft buzz, the two of them could feel a sense of change in the environment.

Boone cleared his throat. “Um, guys, the world doesn’t depend on you two anymore,” he spoke up.

Penn lifted Sashi back on her feet, and smirked to his best friend. “You don’t know that,” he teased-

-and even though, he was slapped across the face by his girlfriend, it was worth it.

“Idiot,” Sashi mumbled.

“You know you love it,” Penn retorted.

She did. She really, really did.


	8. "I fought for you."

_**56\. "I fought for you."** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

Scratches on her face. A black eye. Her lips were slightly swollen. There was no denying it, Sashi had gotten into a fight. And Penn could only wonder what happened.

“Need an ice pack?” he asked.

“No,” she muttered.

“Wanna tell me what you did this time?” he mused.

The look on his face said it all; there was no way Sashi was getting out of this one. She considered thinking up a clever lie, but instead, she bestowed the smirk that she only ever saved for him - which made the injuries on her face stand out in a badass sort of way. “You want to take a guess?” she retorted.

Penn hesitated. “I’m going to rule out your brother,” he said.

Sashi chuckled. “He wishes he could do this kind of damage,” she said.

“And I think Boone’s smart enough to not fight you,” Penn added.

“He’d probably wet his pants if I tried to hit him,” Sashi declared.

As he bit his lip to prevent from bursting into laughter at that thought, Penn cleared his throat and continued, “Did you try and go on a mission by yourself?” Her raised eyebrows said it all. “Okay, no. Were you finally fed up with Rippen and attempted to crush his skull in class?”

With a soft chuckle, Sashi shook her head. “No, but that gives me an idea,” she mused.

Penn could only hope that his girlfriend wasn’t serious. “I give up,” he declared.

“You’re no fun,” Sashi said, with mock frustration. Then, her gaze went downcast and she gave a halfway shrug. “It was my cousin. She was visiting, found out I was dating you, said some things she shouldn’t have so I threw a punch. My mistake, though.” She winced when she moved her jaw the wrong way. “I forgot she’s practically trained in catfighting.”

“Which cousin?” Penn asked.

He was going to be honest, Sashi had such an extensive lineage, it was hard to keep track of anyone past her immediate family.

“Who do you think?” Sashi mumbled. “Brittney.” It was clear to see that just saying the name left a bad taste in her mouth - however, a small smile made it’s way back when her boyfriend leaned in and kissed one of the scratch marks on her cheek. “I won. She quit because I yanked out her extensions. After that, she spent the rest of the day complaining about her hair instead of my supposed bad taste in men.”

A breathless laugh slipped past Penn’s lips. “You really did all that just because she said some crap about me?” he asked.

Sashi’s small grin developed into something more as her sore lips stole a quick kiss from him. “Do you expect anything else from me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *innocently bats eyes* What are these crossover headcanons speak of?


	9. "You're under arrest."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) they're aged up in this like idk 20 or something  
> 2) kinda NSFW but not exactly  
> 3) i'm trash

_**76\. "You're under arrest."** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

“Sash, I’m starting to think that was a bad idea,” Penn muttered.

Seriously, why did they agree to this? Oh, right, because he was too distracted by her hotness and it clouded the idea of consequences. So yes, he wasn’t exactly sure which one of them thought this up, but the handcuffs were on a little too tight and Penn was pretty confident that in a few minutes, he would lose circulation in his wrists…

“Alright, alright, give me a minute,” Sashi said, with a huff - obviously annoyed that the mood was ruined. She leaned over her boyfriend, giving him a _very_ good view of her body which was hidden by only one of his thin t-shirts, and rummaged through the drawer of their bedside table. “Where is it?”

“You _did_ bring the key with you, didn’t you?” Penn asked.

“Of course I did, you idiot,” she practically snapped.

However, Sashi’s mumbling under her breath and constant ruffling through the drawer said otherwise. She gave up searching there, and got out of the bed, inspecting their room for the one simple key that would take the handcuffs off of Penn - or at least, loosen them a little bit.

“I think my hands are turning blue,” he spoke up.

“Shut up,” she retorted. “Give me a minute.”

Penn now felt vulnerable as he watched Sashi leave the room, hearing her curse and slam doors and cabinets as she looked around. He rolled off of the mattress, and shuffled into the only other room of their apartment, and he frowned heavily when he noticed her pacing back and forth, almost leaving a path in the carpeting.

Finally, Sashi groaned. “I’ll go to the station and get the key,” she admitted begrudingly. “Just keep moving your hands.”

She brushed past him and exited their room almost as soon as she entered. With some proper clothes thrown on and her badge in one hand, she waved goodbye to Penn, grumbling about how they were _both_ idiots-

“This is the last time we pick one of your ideas!” he yelled after her as she left.


	10. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

_**30\. “Why are you staring at me like that?”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

_“Wow, Sash, with that dress, you almost look like a real lady!”_

That time, he had been joking. He didn’t even have a crush on her back then- okay, maybe a little one. A microscopic one. He only thought she had pretty eyes and a killer punch. Then, of course, things happened and now? Penn could barely believe it, but from time to time, he got flustered over one of his best friends of all people.

What made it worse was that she was oblivious.

Now, Sashi very rarely got stuck wearing dresses on missions, yet of course, today’s mission was in the 1940’s and let’s face it, that was the fashion of the times, and any guy would be crazy not to stare at the girl waltzing down the street with more grace, beauty and power than the movie starlets of this decade.

Que the sidekick’s ignorance.

“Sexist pigs,” she muttered. “It’s like they’ve never seen a girl wear a dress before.” An older man winked at her, and she gave him the finger - going back in time, be damned.

“Well, you can’t blame them for looking,” Penn added.

“Excuse me?” Sashi replied, looking at him, with a raised eyebrow.

Penn cleared his throat. “You look good,” he said simply.

For a moment, she inspected his expression; trying to find any ounce of sarcasm or joking around. Sashi lowered her glasses - and dammit, Penn was mustering up all of his sanity to not melt in a puddle right there on the busy sidewalk of 1940’s New York. He was honestly surprised on how he managed a polite smile.

“I’m serious,” he assured. Then, in a panic, he nudged his best friend. “What do you think, Boone?”

“She’s a'ight,” Boone said, not even bothering to look, seeing how he was having too much fun inspecting his mafia boss outfit.

Sashi softened up a little, and she gave a small nod. “Well,” she mumbled. “Thank you, Penn.”

_Marilyn Monroe, eat your heart out_ , Penn thought as he held back a smirk.


	11. "I did a pregnancy test."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) aged up again like mid-twenties idk my timeline isn't exactly set  
> 2) they're married

_**197\. “I did a pregnancy test.”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

His head was throbbing, and his eyelids felt heavy as lead when he tried to lift them and open his eyes. He felt like his entire body was shaking- oh, wait, it was. At first, there was mumbling he could hear, but it quickly morphed into yelling.

“Penn Zero, _you goddamn idiot!_ Wake up!”

“Wha-?” he mumbled.

The first thing he saw was Sashi’s face, which was displaying several conflicting emotions: she was blushing, tears streamed down her cheeks and Penn was concerned about the slightly bulging vein on the side of her forehead. Once their gazes met, Sashi’s first reaction was to slap him across the face - and then collapse on him, as a crying, sobbing mess.

“You asshole,” she muttered. “Don’t scare me like that again.”

“W-what happened?” Penn groaned.

“You fainted, stupid,” Sashi retorted.

“Yeah, I get that,” he said, finally gaining full consciousness. “But why?”

Sashi froze. “How hard did you hit your head?” she growled, shuffling to her feet and grabbing something from the nearby counter.

At first, Penn had to squint to figure it out, due to the fact that his vision was still blurry from just waking up after fainting. He got to his knees and stood on shaky feet as he stood up, looking at Sashi and then to the object in her hands. A sense of deja vu washed over him, and he felt Sashi’s free hand grabbing his arm to keep him standing still. He couldn’t believe what she was holding… no… no way was this possible, this was a weird side effect of fainting, hallucination or something-

-he swallowed hard and looked at her expression again. It seemed too real to be fake.

Penn shook his head. “So, that’s positive?” he muttered.

Sashi choked back a sob. “Yeah,” she said softly.

Two pink lines on a white stick. _Shit_. That was the only appropriate response.

“We can’t be parents,” Sashi mumbled. She blinked back tears, and dove in for a hug, letting Penn’s skinny arms hold her close. “By some standards, we’re still kids ourselves. What are we going to do?” She was the one rambling for once, but hey, Penn was going to blame the hormones-

-oh, God. No.

He felt dizzy all over again.

“Sash, listen,” Penn murmured, placing a kiss on her forehead.

“We just got married and we’re already screwing everything up,” Sashi growled, about to snap the test in half.

“Hey, hey, now,” he said softly, holding her by the shoulders and looking in her eyes. “Don’t talk like that.”

Sashi swallowed hard. “I’m not saying it’s a mistake,” she said almost inaudibly.

Penn nodded. “Look, the result might be faulty,” he replied. “Did you go to the doctor?”

With sincerity in her brown eyes, which were now so dark with emotion they seemed black, Sashi’s voice was shaking. “Penn,” she said, stating his name sternly. “I bought five tests. They all came out positive.” Obviously, no doctor was needed to confirm her condition. Hell, if he hadn’t been such an idiot and looked closer, he’d notice the slight curve of her stomach.

An awkward silence passed, until Penn managed to wipe away her tears. “Well, at least look at it this way,” he said, with a halfhearted shrug. “If it’s a boy, we’ll name it Penn Zero Jr.”

That managed to get the softest laugh out of Sashi, despite her frustration and fright. “Over my dead body,” she replied, with the smallest of smirks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> could i have made it longer? yeah. probably. but i'm tired, today was crappy and i like cute endings. plus it's a drabble. so yeah.


	12. "Only one of us is going to come out of this."

_**65\. "Only one of us is going to come out of this."** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

“Run, run, run-”

“-we’re supposed to be heroes, not cowards!”

“Running away from an explosion isn’t cowardice, stupid! It’s common sense!”

There was a boom in back of them, gunfire followed, and the entire area was clouded in a fog of grey smoke that was almost impenetrable. Fires were seen in the distance, and people were screaming. This was the end of days, if the heroic duo wouldn’t prevail.

Sashi growled, and fired randomly in a circle. “Where’s the stupid medallion?!” she snapped.

Penn gasped when he noticed a pool of blood near their feet. “You just shot someone,” he muttered.

“He was on the bad guy’s side,” Sashi said casually, replying to her boyfriend as if he asked about the weather.

“You do realize that there’s going to be only one of us-” Penn mumbled.

“Shut up,” Sashi declared. “You shut up. Either this city goes or we both go.”

She fired her shotgun in the air, and the entire crowd of monsters and villains scattered away. However, despite their efforts, there was no medallion-

-just the world ending.

“Okay, fine,” Penn sighed. “We both go.”

The countdown began as they both lifted their shotguns towards each other...

...one…

...two…

...three…

...there was a splatter of blood on the screen and the words **GAME OVER** appeared as both of their characters fell to a heap on the ground. Sashi threw her controller at the tv, and chucked a pillow just for good measure. Then, she got up, and kicked the side of the couch for a good minute or two, while Penn sat back, sipping from his soda can, watching his girlfriend’s fury against the stupid virtual world they had left behind.

“That game is rigged,” Sashi said breathlessly. “We’re playing Mario Kart.”


	13. "You know, it's okay to cry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is precanon and not really romantic but eh the prompt spoke to me *waves jazz hands*

_**190\. “You know, it’s okay to cry.”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

_“What?” Penn said breathlessly. “What are you talking about?”_

_Phyllis seemed even more stoic than usual. She lifted her goggles, and looked at him sincerely. “They are trapped,” she declared. “Most Dangerous World Imaginable. Cannot retrieve them.” Perhaps it was his imagination but he could have sworn that he saw her frown. “My regrets.”_

_Penn stayed still for a moment, but then his entire face contorted into frustration. He buried his hands into his hair. “No,” he muttered. “No, you’re lying-”_

_Phyllis shook her head._

_“No!” Penn yelled, which surprised both of his friends. None of them had ever dared to raise their voice at Phyllis. “That’s not possible! You’re the MUT technician! Fix it and get them back!” He pointed to the warp pads at the far end of the Odyssey. “My mom and dad are going to zap back any minute now, and you’re going to bring them back! They’re the greatest heroes to exist, they can’t be trapped-” His voice cracked, and he breathed heavily, trying to find a realization or enlightenment or something-_

_-but instead, all he could do was look at his friends, who were also heartbroken, and then, back to Phyllis, who was daring to show a little bit of sadness._

_“This is all your fault,” he told her._

_And then he ran. Out of the Odyssey, away from the truth, far from reality..._

 

**••••••**

 

He had been sleeping ever since he got home. Penn was trying to escape the fact that what had happened a few hours, or days, maybe even weeks, ago at the Odyssey was fake. A prank. A mistake. But nope. He had confined himself to his room for however long he had been up here, occasionally going out by his aunt and uncle’s protests, but he didn’t want to know about anything else except the fact that being a hero was so screwed up- why was there no rescue mission?

His friends hadn’t seen him either. Boone, try as he might, made several attempts to get Penn to talk to him, but it did no good. Sashi showed up once in a while, and she seemed to get the idea-

-or maybe not.

“Hey, PZ.”

There was a tapping on his window, and Penn was alarmed by seeing Sashi sitting in a tree, waving at him. Of course she wouldn’t bother with the door after being rejected all of the other previous times she had visited.

“Go away,” Penn muttered.

“Not happening,” Sashi retorted. “Now open this window before I fall to my death.”

With a groan, he rolled out of his bed, pushing open the window and letting his friend tumble into his bedroom. Sashi stood up, and ran her gaze over him. To put it bluntly, he looked like Hell. His hair wasn’t just curly, it was frizzy, mangled, more or less looking like a bird’s nest. He still had on his pajamas, just like all of the other times she had come over and managed to get a glimpse of him, and the dark circles under his eyes were disturbing. This wasn’t the hero boy she had been best friends with all of these years.

“Look,” Sashi said hesitantly. “You miss them. I get it-”

“-how?” Penn shot back. “Sash, they could be dead right now and I don’t even know it-”

“Do you think you’re the only one who cares about them?” she declared. “Your mom and dad are like a second set of parents to Boone, you two are practically brothers, and don’t even try to forget how close I am to Vonnie. Phyllis is best friends with your parents. Not was, _is._ She’s trying to get them back. She knows it’s her fault, and she didn’t need you to yell at her about it.”

Penn felt himself freezing up again. Okay, maybe Sashi had a point.

A sigh escaped her, and she shoved something in Penn’s hand.

“It’s called a MUHU,” she muttered. “Phyllis invented it for you. It works. You can message your parents. They’re okay.”

“Wha-” Penn stammered, and swallowed hard. He wasn’t going to cry in front of a girl, even if she was one of his best friends.

Then, without another word, Sashi gave a small nod as she made her way out the window and climbed down the tree. He didn’t know what to say right now… he just had to hope that this contraption worked.


	14. "A ceremony set for June."

_**180\. "A ceremony set for June."** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

“It’s considered bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her dress before the big day,” Vonnie said exasperatedly, as she tried to shove her son out of the bridal shop.

“Let him see, Vonnie,” Sashi called from inside the dressing room. “Ow! Mom, _loosen the damn corset, I can’t breathe-_ ”

A sigh slipped past Vonnie’s lips and she let go of the death grip on her son’s arm. “Oh, fine, but when something goes wrong at the wedding, don’t say I didn’t warn you,” she teased good-naturedly, but nonetheless rolling her eyes.

Penn playfully shook his head, and plopped himself in a chair. To be honest, spending his afternoon here was a lot better than hanging out and hearing Boone’s supposedly awesome suggestions for a bachelor party, even if most of those ideas involved something borderline illegal. So here he was, surrounded by frilly dresses and a bunch of women gossiping. There was a bit of bickering between Sashi and her mother heard from the stall, until Mrs. Kobayashi swung open the door, embarrassing her daughter.

“I’m telling you, I’ll be the one wearing a suit at the wedding!” Sashi groaned, folding her arms over the bodice of the glamorous dress.

Vonnie gave Sashi a once-over and shook her head. “Too many sequins,” she told Mrs. Kobayashi, throwing a much simpler dress into the dressing room. “Sashi, honey, try this one.”

Upon noticing Penn sitting there, gawking at her in the dumb Cinderella-style wedding dress, Sashi’s face lit up with a blush. Despite her disliking the dress, Penn had to admit, she did look quite fabulous.

“Don’t expect me to wear this one,” she muttered, slamming the door.

He chuckled, and glanced over to his mother, and her expression surprised him. “Mom, are you crying?” Penn asked.

Vonnie gently laughed. “Trying not to,” she admitted. She sat down next to her son, and softly punched him in the arm. “Honestly, everytime I look at the two of you, I still see those eight-year-olds yelling at each other in the back of my car.”

“She still yells at me,” Penn retorted.

“I rest my case,” Vonnie said. She sighed, and managed a half-smirk half-smile. “It’s a shame I wasn’t around to humiliate you both on that first date.”

Penn was about to playfully argue back- but once he noticed the dressing room open, he fell silent at the sight of Sashi standing there, in a long, flowing floor-length single-strap dress. No sequins, like the one before, or other idiotic frills and silly decorations of the others that were on the rack nearby. Simple. Sweet. Not too much, just enough.

“This one’s not terrible,” Sashi muttered.

“Do I get a say in which dress she picks?” Penn spoke up, his eyes never leaving her.

Sashi went still under his gaze, and she blushed once again, but this time for an entirely different reason. Just to amuse him, she stepped out, giving a playful twirl and curtsy, with her hand extended out to him. Penn got up from his seat and took her hand, placing a kiss on it.

“I think I have to wait a few more weeks before I kiss the bride,” he teased.

A laugh escaped Sashi, and she looked back to her mother & Vonnie. “And I think we finally found the right dress,” she mused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the dress ---> http://www.fanswedding.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Simple-Wedding-Dresses-for-Second-Wedding1.jpg


	15. "I think we should take a break."

_**3\. “I think we should take a break.”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

Growing up was the worst, plain and simple. But of course, like many things in life, it can’t be avoided. Yet tonight was the real kicker. Sure, it had been fun while it lasted but this was the beginning of the end. Grad caps were falling from the air now that everyone had thrown them up, and cheers were echoing across the field as all of the students rejoiced-

-but amidst the celebration, two of the graduates had found each other, and they were standing in the crowd, simply facing each other for a moment.

“So,” Penn said simply. “Sashi Kobayashi. Salutatorian.”

“Better than having the stupidest senior quote in the history of Middleburg Central High,” Sashi teased.

A moment passed, only before they both simultaneously leaned in for a kiss. Penn instantly swept his girlfriend off of her feet, spinning her around as they kissed right then and there, ignoring the crowd and joyous chaos around them.

It was sort of surreal how only four years ago, they were awkward teenagers, just starting to become heroes, and unaware of their feelings.

Now… everything was changing, just in the matter of a day.

They couldn’t ignore their plans.

“Hey,” Penn whispered. “You’re gonna make a great officer.”

“Don’t die without me, full-time hero,” Sashi murmured.

She was due to arrive in the next two towns over for her police training. She wanted to continue saving the world, but on a lower, more modest scale. He was going to fulfill the dream he had since he was a child. Granted, it would be a bit difficult without his sidekick or wiseman, but he knew that he could do it. They were going down two completely different roads… and they were going to try and make it.

“Oh, wait,” Penn said, placing his girlfriend back down. “I got something for you-”

“Penn, you know I don’t like gifts,” Sashi retorted.

“Too bad,” he teased. He unzipped the front of his grad gown, reaching into his shirt pocket and pulling out a thin rectangular box. “Something to take with you to that Crick town.”

“Echo Creek,” she corrected, with a playful eye roll. Sashi lifted the top of the box, and her breath caught in her throat when she noticed what was inside. All she could manage to stutter out was, “You dork.” and she stole another quick kiss.

Penn grinned, and reached into the box, taking out the necklace. It was simple; just a silver chain, with one small pendant - his signature symbol, the zero with a slash through it. He draped each side of the chain around Sashi’s neck, fastening the clasp.

She swallowed hard, and hugged him. Obviously, he returned the embrace, and they stood like that for a minute, just soaking in the moment.

As he placed a kiss on the top of her head, Penn smiled. “But, hey,” he assured. “It’s not like we have to say goodbye now. We got a week or two, right?”

“It’s not goodbye, stupid,” Sashi said. “It’s see you later.”

A few months apart would put too much of a strain on their relationship, they had decided-

-so they were taking the easier route.

But they both knew one simple truth; they could never be each other’s exes. Ex was a cruel word to describe someone who had done wrong to the value that was a relationship; Penn and Sashi would come back to each other. They always did, whether it be on missions or on the wild ride that was real life.


	16. "Stop it, I'm trying to watch the movie."

_** 210\. "Stop it, I'm trying to watch the movie." ** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

It was like this every Monday in the Odyssey. After the mission, Phyllis would treat all three of them to a movie; Disney, horror, black comedy, whatever it was that the Part-Time Hero Trio felt like watching. The screen would be used for it’s stereotypical purpose…

...and Boone was just trying to enjoy his pick for the week. But nope. It was hard to pay attention to the movie, not when there was a very weird sight across the theater-

-okay, maybe, not weird, but kind of disturbing-

-dammit, it wasn’t like he knew there was a kissing scene in this movie and he didn’t know that scene would spur that-

Boone just kept eating his popcorn, waiting for the next musical number. He couldn’t deny it, he liked movies with singing and dancing, despite the fact that his friends always gave him crap for it… those same friends who were now slobbering all over each other just because of a ten-second kiss scene. Sure, he could cover his eyes until they were done, or leave the Odyssey and go watch the movie at his house, but that wouldn’t be necessarily fair.

Oh, God, no, he was praying that wasn’t a moan he just heard-

-nope. It was.

Okay, okay, he would just move- good enough, right? He’d sit at a different side of the theater where he couldn’t hear or see his best friends making out with each other and he would enjoy the last half hour of his musical movie- however, as soon as Boone got up, he noticed Phyllis rappelling down. She looked at him, and smirked, pressing a button on one of the many gadgets she toted around. In the blink of an eye, water splashed down on Penn and Sashi, causing both of them to scream and separate from their ‘activity’.

“Thanks, Phyllis,” Boone called up to the technician.

And the music number was starting. Alright, today was a good day.

 

**••••••**

 

“You moron,” Sashi muttered. “I should have never let you kiss me-”

“I don’t know, it was kind of worth it,” Penn said, with a halfhearted shrug. He averted his eyes from her now, seeing how she was soaking wet and her clothes were clinging to her- and dammit, he couldn’t make out with her again now that she was pissed off at him.

Sashi wiped her glasses clean, and got up from her seat. “I’m going home,” she mumbled.

Although, despite the awkward moment, Penn gave a somewhat cocky grin. “Your place or mine?” he asked.

He was surprised when she grabbed him by the shirt collar and bestowed a smirk that tempted him. A low chuckle slipped past her lips, and she looked him in the eyes for a moment, only before shoving him back into his seat.

“Both,” she snapped. “I’m going to mine and you’re going to yours.”

But despite her anger and embarrassment of the current situation, he totally caught that smirk as she stormed off.


	17. "No, no, no, no, no, we aren't ready... we aren't ready for kids yet!"

_**60\. "No, no, no, no, no, we aren't ready... we aren't ready for kids yet!"** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

“Well, that explains a lot,” Penn muttered.

A growl escaped Sashi as she snatched the picture out of his hands. “That’s all you have to say?!” she snapped. “This is your fault too- we weren’t ready for one kid and now-” She breathed heavily and stared at the ultrasound picture. Twins. Two of them. Her hands were shaking, despite being balled into fists and her gaze met Penn’s. “Now what?”

Penn shrugged. “We’ll manage,” he said simply. He gently pried the photo from his wife’s hands, and a small smile snuck it’s way across his expression. “Which one of them is Junior?”

Sashi shook her head. “I’m not telling you,” she replied.

“Oh, come on,” he pleaded. “Just a hint?”

“No,” she insisted. “You knocked me up in the first place, had me end up with _two_ kids instead of one-”

“You were also participating in the process,” Penn argued.

An exasperated sigh slipped past Sashi’s lips as she rolled her eyes and began cracking her knuckles in frustration. “Still,” she mumbled. “Are we going to be good parents?”

“Hey, c’mere,” Penn said softly, taking Sashi’s hands and pulling her into his lap so they could cuddle together on the edge of the couch. He was trying to ease her up from the tension of the moment, but she was still shaking like a leaf- she had been that way ever since she broke the news to him. “We’ll be awesome parents, okay? We’ll take the little rugrats on missions when they get older, and you can teach them how to kick ass, we’ll be a legendary family.”

“The four of us?” Sashi muttered, with a breathless laugh.

“Yup,” Penn assured. “Don’t worry.”

Sashi placed a kiss on his forehead. “Okay, I’ll try not to,” she muttered. “But they’re not going on missions. Not until I’m dead - plus three days, just to make sure I’m dead.”

Penn laughed, but the look on his wife’s face said it all. He covered it up by clearing his throat, and nodded.

“We’ll put them in simulations,” he offered.

“Maybe,” she said. “We have to raise them first.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really like family / pregnancy drabbles, okay? okay :P.


	18. "Where do you think you're going?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahaha i'm trash this is potentially NSFW  
> (also obviously aged up)

_**144\. “Where do you think you’re going?”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

It was supposed to be a fun night out. Simple, just a few drinks at the bar, and they’d make their way home. Penn now realized that this night might end in blood. He was so going to kill Boone later- because he had promised a somewhat civilized bachelor party, not this sort of filth. Then again, after a few beers and “dude trust me”, Penn realized that alcohol made his best friend’s inner douchebag come out. So here he was, locked in a room that he seriously didn’t want to be in, even if any other guy would think of this as his own personal heaven-

-shit. No, no, no. Penn had more sense than that, and Sashi would leave him forever and then brutally murder him, if she found out-

The lights were dimmed, he could barely see two feet in front of him, but he could sense that someone else was in the room. He wasn’t going to look behind him, nope, not even for a second- he wasn’t going to do it, or he was going to be the second dead man tonight-

Penn continued to jiggle the doorknob, but no such luck. It was still locked. No doubts about it, Boone was going to die-

“Look, I’m not here for what you think,” Penn stammered, still not looking behind him. “Can you let me out?”

“Why would you want that?” a definitely female and somewhat seductive voice whispered.

“I - I kind of have a fiancee a-and-” He felt dizzy when a hand was placed on his shoulder. Maybe it was the fact he knew that this was wrong, mixed in with the fact that he shouldn’t have tried a shot of vodka with his beer, but he felt like fainting- but that voice. Wait…

...before he could register what was happening, Penn found himself flipped around and pressed up against the wall- and he tried to push the ‘entertainer’ away, something about that tan skin against the bright white lingerie made him stop and freeze in place. She didn’t do anything, but even if her face was covered with a black veil, he felt like she was smirking.

“She’s a very lucky girl,” she murmured, gripping his shirt collar.

Penn could only stammer; he was too tipsy to fight her, he just wanted that damn door open- wait… was that the outline of a pair of glasses he saw under the veil? And something on her hand glimmered in the dark room-

“Well, I’d have to say your husband’s very lucky too,” he muttered, starting to gain his common sense and wit back.

“He’s not my husband yet,” she chuckled.

_Of course._

Penn grabbed the edge of the veil and pulled it up, completely bewildered at the face hidden behind it. He was about to open his mouth to say something - perhaps an argument or a joke or something along those lines - but his breath was taken away in a fierce kiss, where his lips were bit and his hair was pulled. If anything, that only helped his sudden guess and spur of the moment action.

“S-Sash, how did you-?” he muttered.

“Did you really think that I was going to spend my evening out home alone?” Sashi laughed.

“How did you set this up?” Penn mumbled, burying his face into the crook of her neck and placing kisses along her collarbone.

Sashi grinned like the Cheshire Cat and tapped his nose. “Are you really going to waste this hour with stupid questions?” she teased.

Judging from the way he suddenly lifted her up and pressed her against the wall, she took that as a no.


	19. "I swear, if you die on me, I'll kill you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aka the quote that sums up their relationship very nicely

_**148\. “I swear, if you die on me, I’ll kill you.”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

Sashi felt like this was it. She was freezing cold and numb in certain places, she could barely keep her eyes open, and worst of all, she felt completely helpless. Shit, where was her sword? What was her armor stained with- oh. That was blood, wasn’t it? Well then. Whatever it was that struck her- was it Rippen or one of those demon guards? Her train of thought was breaking apart and disintegrating into a million little shattered pieces of glass. Okay, what was the point of this mission again? Something about an ancient scroll and ambrosia of the Princesses or Gods or whatever-

“Dude, I think she’s gonna pass out,” Boone muttered.

“Pass out?!” Penn practically shrieked. “She’s probably gonna die!”

Sashi let out an incoherent mumble as she tried to get back up on her feet, but gravity was against her. Or perhaps pain. Maybe both. A cough slipped past her lips, shaking her entire body, and she clawed at the ground, still trying to get up-

“No,” Penn declared. “No, stay down. For two minutes, quit being such a badass or I’m gonna be the one to hurt you next.”

“I can fight, I promise-” Sashi argued, yet her words were against her as she let out another cough and dry heaved. “Just… give me a few minutes.” But they didn’t have a few minutes- she could realize that much. The demonized spirits were consuming souls left and right to find that scroll. Oh, crap. She didn’t get attacked _that_ brutally, did she?

There was an arrow, a scream that wasn’t her own, some chanting- she thought for sure she had dodged the golden bullets-

-she couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore. It was too much of an effort. Breathing in itself felt like a struggle. Everything was shutting down all at once, but the fighting spirit in her soul that would never die told her to keep going, get up, throw those demons back to Hell where they belonged-

-but that was all fading into a dream… along with everything else…

“Sashi? _Sashi!_ ”

...that was the last thing she heard before the zap and sizzle of the warp pads.

 

**••••••**

 

The world was fuzzy. Blurs of grey and blue filled her vision, and judging from the sounds of fizzing and banging, she was in the Odyssey. Sashi groaned, and rolled over on her side. Wait- was that crying she heard? Not soft, easy tears either, they were noisy, loud nerve-wracking sobs. With a sigh that seemed to relieve some of the pain, Sashi fluttered her eyes open, but they shot open when she was suddenly yanked into an embrace. Her breathing was labored enough as it is, and now she felt like it was going too fast.

“You’re okay,” Penn choked out. “Oh, man, I thought you were a goner- wait, you don’t have amnesia, do you?”

“No,” Sashi mumbled. She winced when she tried to sit up, and fell back on the makeshift bed of theater seats. A barely audible curse word slipped past her lips just as her entire head began to pound. “What the hell happened on that mission?”

“The mission?” Penn said, with a breathless laugh. “You nearly died, and you’re worried about the mission?”

Sashi hesitated, and managed a weary half-smile. “Sorry,” she muttered.

Penn raised an eyebrow. “You sure you don’t have amnesia?” he asked. “Give me some basic info.”

She found the strength to playfully roll her eyes at him- and the softest laugh slipped past her lips. “I’m Sashi Kobayashi, part-time sidekick, fifteen years old,” she said. “And you-” She poked his cheek. “-are Penn Zero, my idiot boyfriend who worries about me too much.” There was just enough time for her to steal a quick kiss, and she brushed away his tears that didn’t dry. “Were you seriously crying over me?”

“...no?” Penn said hesitantly.

“Was bawling like lost baby,” Phyllis called from up above.

Sashi stifled a laugh, and managed to boldly smile. “Smooth move, hero,” she teased.

Penn’s bashful smile accompanied the blush across his cheeks that matched his fiery red hair. “Well, you’re not always tough as nails, sidekick,” he playfully shot back.


	20. “Why haven’t you proposed to them yet?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not exactly 100% penashi but eh.

_** 1\. “Why haven’t you proposed to them yet?” ** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

“So this is all you do these days?” Penn said, with a smirk as he sat down on the couch next to his father. “Watch ESPN and drink beer?”

“And fix that old truck in the garage,” Brock retorted.

“The one that’s been there since before I was born?” Penn asked.

Brock hesitantly pointed at his son, alerting him to shut up. “I’m putting improvements in it,” he muttered. “Like, a cool stereo and all of that, okay?” He caught his son’s soft laugh, and shook his head. “What, do you expect me to keep punching monsters everyday? I’m old now.”

Penn playfully rolled his eyes. Despite his father’s statement, they both knew battling monsters was a walk in the park for their family … that is, so long as the monster was a freak from another dimension.

A furious short bespectacled woman, however, was not Brock’s favorite monster to battle.

“Brock Zero, would you care to explain why my kitchen is trashed?” Vonnie growled.

“Am I allowed to eat?” he replied, with a raised eyebrow and a slight frown.

“That’s no excuse to leaving behind a mess,” she snapped, folding her arms over her chest as she glared at him. “I expect you to turn off that sports nonsense and clean it up _soon_.”

Brock let out a groan, and fell back against the couch. “Yvonne, sweetie, don’t be that way,” he said.

Vonnie huffed. “Don’t ‘Yvonne, sweetie’ me,” she mumbled.

And of course, she sashayed out of the room before Brock could reply.

“And get your feet off of my coffee table before I drop you back into that hellish universe we were trapped in!” Vonnie yelled. “And for the love of God, put some pants on!”

“Now she’s gone too far,” Brock muttered, taking a sip of his beer and sliding his feet off of the coffee table.

Penn chuckled, and shook his head. “How do you manage over twenty years of that?” he asked.

Brock let out a sigh, giving an apathetic shrug as he began flipping channels on the television. “You get used to it,” he admitted. “I got used to her temper, the fact she can’t cook, how she can beat me in arm-wrestling-”

“-how she tried to kill you multiple times before you got together,” Penn spoke up.

“That too,” Brock chuckled. “But hey, you’ll get used to things with Sashi when you marry her.”

“Uh,” Penn stammered. “ _If_ I marry Sashi.”

“Oh, come on, son,” Brock said, looking at his son with a lopsided smile. “You really see yourself with any other girl?”

Penn managed a small shake of his head. “Well, no,” he mumbled, reaching back and scratching his neck nervously. “But I don’t know if we’re the marrying type, especially Sashi. She’s not even legal to drink alcohol yet, you really expect her to get married?” A smirk made it’s way across his expression. “Besides, she’d probably want to drive out to Vegas and go with a drive-thru wedding.”

Brock grinned. “Better than how your mother and I got married,” he said. “We thought we were about to die on some alien universe. So I told Vonnie to marry me, and just before we slaughtered those freaky crystal aliens, we made up the vows on the spot and said our I Do’s.”

“Then you did a retake when you came back… right?” Penn mused.

“Actually, no,” Brock replied. “After all, why do you think you never found any wedding pictures in all of the family photo albums?”

Penn pursed his lips and nodded, and his father nudged him, giving a wink.

“Besides, if you do marry Sashi within the next two years, your mother owes me a hundred dollars,” Brock said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no one is safe from the betting pool that is Penn and Sashi's lovelife


	21. "No, really, everything's fine!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time to bust out the OC's *cracks knuckles*

_**42\. “No, really, everything’s fine!”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

Chaos was a euphemism for what could be heard on the other side of the line. Sashi literally winced when she heard all of the pandemonium and she was almost scared to speak up, until there was a very loud shriek, followed by screaming.

“Daaaaaddy! It’s Mama!”

“Shut up, Xena!”

“You said shut up! That’s a bad word!”

“Is not!”

“Is too!”

There was a bit of shuffling and a few whining protests, but finally, there was miraculously a moment of silence. For a second, Sashi thought that the line went dead until she heard a heavy sigh. She bit back a smirk and spoke up, “Hello?”

“I swear, they’re going to stage a coup and try to kill me,” Penn muttered.

Sashi laughed. “I’ve been gone for two days,” she replied.

Penn scoffed. “Yeah, and I’m counting down the hours until Friday,” he said. “Stupid police work taking you out of town for the week.”

“It’s not that long. Besides, it’s not my fault some crazy woman decided to supposedly summon demon monsters,” Sashi retorted. “By the way… out of curiosity-” She chuckled, and smirked, wishing that her husband could see how amused she was at his predicament. “How many times have the twins tried to kill each other?”

“I’ve lost count,” Penn groaned. “But the latest incident is that Xena gave Loralei a haircut when she was asleep.”

“Those are my girls-”

“-and Xander got in trouble.”

Sashi paused, honestly appalled at the news. “What did _he_ do?” she asked.

Penn sounded completely exhausted, and apparently, didn’t bother to yell at the kids as they started banging more stuff in the background. “I don’t even remember,” he mumbled. “Either way, he’s grounded and the girls are trying to, and I quote, ‘bust him free’, so if the house is burned down or in ruins when you get back, blame them.”

There was a sudden flood of whining and protesting heard, and Sashi could barely make out what anyone was saying, but there was some yelling from everyone in her family, until someone else snatched the phone-

“Mama, when are you gonna be back? We’re bored, and Daddy’s no fun anymore-”

“Hey, I wanna talk to her!”

Penn’s distress could only be heard in stammering and a few groans of exasperation. Sashi could barely keep track of who was asking what and wait, what did Xena do this time, and they had pizza for dinner because the food turned black- oh, God, Penn probably wasn’t exaggerating when he said that the house would be in ruins by the end of the week. The kids blabbed about nonsense for a few minutes straight, with Sashi occasionally amusing them with casual responses, when finally, Penn regained control of the phone.

“You know how my mom’s always offering to look after the kids?” he said. “I think I’m going to take her up on that offer.”

“Your dad already had a heart attack,” Sashi retorted.

Penn managed a laugh, and she could hear the smile in his voice as he replied, “And I’ll have one too if I don’t give myself a break.”

Sashi playfully rolled her eyes, even if he couldn’t see it. “Wimp,” she teased. “Can’t last one week without me?”

“Hey, I can save the world, but three kids under the age of ten?” Penn retorted. “I give up.”

There was another loud bang and he yelped.

“What was that-”

“-you don’t want to know. Trust me.”

Sashi did trust him. She always would… but that didn’t mean she wasn’t scared about what she would find at the house on Friday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> facts: Xena and Loralei are the aforementioned twins, and Xander is two years younger (he's the only tame one).


	22. "Come home with me."

_**200\. “Come home with me.”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

_“So when were you going to tell me this is where you were living now?” Penn asked, gesturing to everywhere in the Odyssey._

_Sashi’s jaw fell, and she fell completely silent. She didn’t bother to question him on how he found out, she had realized that he could have found out a lot sooner, and… for once, she was the idiot._

_“Do you know why I’m here?” she mumbled._

_“Of course I know,” Penn retorted. “When I asked Phyllis why you were living here, she told me everything. She set you up here because you ran away from home after your parents blew up when they found out you were doing the sidekick gig.”_

_“I didn’t run away from home,” Sashi snapped. “I just needed a place to stay so things could settle down.”_

_“And it takes a few weeks for things to settle down?” he mused._

_Sashi went still, and she swallowed hard as she looked away from her boyfriend. “How much do you know?” she hissed, blinking back tears._

_Penn reached out to take her hand, but she folded her arms, rejecting and ignoring any affection he could try._

_“Just the basics,” he muttered. “Sash, why didn’t you tell me?”_

_She was eerily silent, with her gaze stuck to the floor, and her jaw moving back and forth as she began to grind her teeth in frustration; another one of her aggressive little tics. It wasn’t fair, that was the only thought running through her mind. That had been the single thing she had been thinking about for a while now. Most kids desired to be ordinary, like everybody else, and yet, Sashi wished to be extraordinary, a cut above the rest._

_Penn released a sigh, shaking his head. “Look, even if you don’t want to talk, I’m putting up an offer for you,” he said softly. “You can stay at my house, instead of this place. It’s awesome, yeah, but not somewhere you should live.”_

_He leaned in to place a kiss on her cheek, but she stepped back._

_“I’ll be fine,” Sashi declared, albeit her voice shaking a little._

_Of course she would be fine. Penn knew that, but he didn’t want her to be just fine. That was average. Mediocre. Satisfactory. But he also knew that she couldn’t sleep on theater seats forever._

_“You know the door’s always open at my place,” he said simply, as he turned on his heel and left._

 

**••••••**

 

It had to be around midnight. Maybe a little before or after, but nonetheless, it was the middle of the night, where everyone was locked away and the lights were out- except the porch light of one house in the middle of the block.

Sashi couldn’t believe herself. But here she was, lightly tapping on the glass.

After only a few soft knocks, the door creaked open, and there was Penn, standing in his pajamas and looking half-asleep. “Hey,” he mumbled, managing to bestow a lopsided grin.

“Hi,” she muttered, adjusting her backpack. “Can I spend a night here?”

“You can spend every night here if you want,” he assured, stepping forward and opening his arms in an offer for a hug.

There wasn’t even the slightest hesitation as Sashi practically dove in for the embrace, burying her face in the crook of his neck and sniffling a little. Penn led her inside the dimly lit house, and when he finally got a good look at her, he noticed her expression grim and afraid, which was a strange combination of emotions.

“Are you okay?” Penn asked.

“No,” Sashi choked out, as she shook her head. “I’m not.” She took his hand and squeezed it gently, while pulling herself back into his embrace.

Penn dared to place a kiss on her forehead. “Wanna talk about it?” he murmured.

Sashi managed the smallest nod. “Yeah,” she whispered.

And that was the beginning of the longest night for both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a summarized idea I had but was too lazy to turn into a multi-chapter :P. Maybe I'll expand upon it someday.


	23. "May I have this dance?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recommend listening to Postmodern Jukebox's cover of "Blank Space" while reading this-- 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mx_0LK1DfrE&safe=active

_**10\. "May I have this dance?"** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

Another 1940’s adventure. Another mafia bust. But in the real, modern world, time had taken it’s toll, things had happened, and well… now, our heroes return home was delayed. They were stuck here. So Penn had said something that he was sure would be the stupidest thing in the world, but hey, it worked out for him in the end.

So here he was- in a club (far more refined than the ones of their generation), with Sashi, who he had somehow convinced to go out with him.

As they both headed towards the dancefloor, Penn and Sashi had their hands swinging down, occasionally brushing fingertips, but never holding hands. After all, he had gotten lucky enough so far, he wasn’t going to push his luck, he’d hold her hand when they were dancing-

-if they could get that chance, of course. Sashi was too busy mumbling about how all of the men were staring at her, just like last time.

“Look, ignore them,” Penn whispered. “They’re jerks.”

“I’ve told you, they’re sexist pigs,” Sashi corrected. “Men had no respect for women in this age.”

He tried not to roll his eyes; it wasn’t that she was wrong when she went into her little feminist rants, he actually like seeing how bold and proud Sashi could be when standing up for the right thing, but tonight was their first date, going wrong in all of the right ways. Despite being back in time, it would be nice if things could go as normal as possible.

“Hey,” Penn said, reaching out and gently turning her face up so their gazes could meet. God, her eyes were perfect; brown, with flecks of gold and black. “You look beautiful, okay?” He bit back a comment about how he always thought she looked pretty.

And it was clear to see that she was impressed with that comment; he didn’t say sexy, a doll, smokin’, or anything like that. Beautiful.

Sashi cleared her throat so she wouldn’t stutter. “Thank you,” she replied.

And so, they began to gently waltz to the beat of the music. Their dance was clearly much different from anyone else’s on the dancefloor; they were swaying a little too much, bashfully blushing and smiling, and clearly, they were different from any other couple in the club. But it seemed that they didn’t care- they were enjoying this simple, sweet moment.

“Um,” Penn stuttered. “And thanks to you too, Sash. For going on this date with me, and giving me a chance.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that,” Sashi said.

A soft chuckle slipped past his lips, and he tried to twirl her, and it was a little slow, not as graceful as it should have been, but nonetheless, it worked for the most part. Then again, with her famous smirk, Sashi suddenly began taking over, leading the dance a little bit better than Penn ever could. Which meant, this was another thing to keep people gawking and staring.

But of course, neither Penn nor Sashi were paying attention to that. They were too focused on each other- was this real? Were they going on a date? They were best friends, and best friends hung out, they didn’t date. Then again, one night didn’t mean anything. It was more or less a test-

-a test Penn was hoping he could pass. He was feeling as if he’d do well enough tonight, maybe pass for a second date. After all, his original plans was dinner and a movie, but this was clearly much better and definitely far more memorable. Sashi was always intimidating, and powerful, and just plain wonderful, along with countless other reasons he had this dumb crush on her. He had to convince her he was worthy for one more date…

...and maybe a little more than that.

She really was beautiful here, decked out in the style of the times- the flowing dress making her look fierce, combining a hidden element of pretty mixing with her badassery, her hair down for once and framing her face in a very lovely way, and the light touches of modest makeup… Penn really wanted to kiss her, right here, right now, but as far as Sashi knew, this might not go anywhere.

And what if he did kiss her? She might get offended, or weirded out. He’d probably never get that chance again.

Besides, it’s not like he ever got this close of a chance with any other girls before-

-she was staring at him, in a slightly perplexed way, his brain was going to shut down into panic mode if he didn’t break their awkward silence-

“You wanna ditch this place and go get some dinner?” Penn said. “My treat.”

Sashi grinned, and slowed down their dance. “Might as well while we’re here,” she replied.

Tonight was one night… and he could hope he’d lead to more.


	24. "It wasn't supposed to happen like that."

_**187\. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like that.”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

_“Hey, look, Penn made a funny!” Boone laughed, slapping his best friend on the back. “You, having a crush on a real girl, right. And she just so happens to be the only girl who gives us the time of day because she’s our best friend. Sure.”_

_Penn fell silent, and lounged back in his beanbag chair, fiddling with the controller as his video game character rescued the common folk from the dungeon._

_“Dude?” Boone mumbled._

_“What if I was serious?” Penn retorted, while slaying a few ninja pirates. “What if I really do have a crush on Sashi?”_

_Boone paused, and let his character die from jumping off of the ivory tower. “Do you need your head checked?” he asked._

_“Boone!”_

_“Okay, okay, take a chill pill, geez, so you have a crush on a girl who could crush your skull. That’s cool.”_

_With a groan, Penn flopped onto the floor facedown into the carpet. “But that’s why I like her,” he mumbled. “She’s a badass but she can be kind of… I don’t know, cute, too. And since when did she get so pretty?” He grabbed his hair and pulled at it in frustration as he rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. “I don’t even believe myself.”_

_Boone popped open another soda. “How long have you had a thing for her?” he muttered._

_“I don’t know- few months now?” Penn asked._

_“Then you got it bad,” Boone declared. “Especially if you think Sashi of all girls is cute. You know she would probably try to kill you if you said that to her.”_

_There was a moment of silence between the two best friends- just the sound of electronic firing and screaming of video game characters- until Penn finally spoke up, “So, wait, you’re not creeped out that your best friend is into your other best friend?”_

_Boone shrugged. “Not really,” he said. “I mean, if you like her, you like her. It’s not like I can keep you guys apart or whatever.”_

_Penn gave a small nod. “Just… this is a bro secret, okay?” he muttered, holding up his fist._

_“Bro secret,” Boone agreed, bumping his fist against Penn’s._

 

**••••••**

 

Penn had decided that he wasn’t going to blame Boone for randomly blurting out how Penn should save the girl he had a “massive stupid” crush on. So much for bro secret; even if it was honestly only a matter of time before Sashi found out herself; she was smart, she’d pick up the pieces. The way his stare sometimes lingered on her, how he’d purposely bicker with her on missions just so he could see how cute she was when she was mad, the little compliments he tried to pass off as sarcastic or a joke...

...now, Sashi was confused, to put it lightly. Now after their third mission in Megasupertropolis, she had asked Penn to take a walk with her around the town of superheroes, and dammit, he knew it, he was busted, their friendship was ruined, she thought that his crush on her was creepy-

“So was Boone kidding around?” she finally asked after they had walked about a block and a half in silence.

He could have lied. He really could have. Instead, Penn shook his head, which caused Sashi to go a little slower in her steps.

“I’m flattered,” she mumbled. “But-”

Of course there would be a but. He saw that one coming from a mile away.

Sashi paused, completely stopping and looking at Penn sincerely. “I don’t know,” she said.

Well, that was most likely the kindest way she could reject him.

“It’s fine,” he muttered. “Sorry for making things weird.”

“You didn’t,” she assured. “We’ll just forget that this ever happened.”

Penn nodded. Although, he knew that those were only words. His heart wasn’t broken, but it was slightly fractured. Maybe in a fool’s paradise, she’d return the feelings. And for Sashi, it would definitely be hard for her to shake this feeling of strangeness.


	25. "Please never call me by my full name ever again."

_**247\. "Please never call me by my full name ever again."** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

“Now I see why you didn’t want your full name on the wedding invites,” Penn mused, while stifling a laugh.

“And yet, I still can’t believe Penn Zero is your legal full name,” Sashi muttered.

Penn shrugged. “I was born in the back of a cab,” he said simply. “My parents didn’t have time to think up a middle name.” He folded up one of the more ridiculous looking invites into the shape of a paper airplane and tossed it in the air, only for it to nosedive directly onto the floor.

Sashi groaned, and rubbed her temples as she stared at the various pieces of overly fancy stationery, each one more gaudy then the next. Apparently, simple wedding invitations didn’t exist.

So here they were, trying to pick the least idiotic looking one…

“I’m _this_ close to dragging you down to the courthouse and making you sign the certificate so we can ditch all of this planning,” she mumbled.

“Hey, at least choosing the cake was fun,” Penn retorted. He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her in and placing a kiss on the top of her head. “Come on, we’ve only got a month left. We can tackle the rest of this junk.”

“Fine,” Sashi relented, with a playful roll of her eyes.

They went back to filing through the massive folder of stationery-

-until, of course, Penn had to be his usual idiot self.

“Just out of curiosity, though, how do you pronounce your middle name?” he asked.

“I would sooner stab my eye out than tell you,” she snapped.

“Oh, come on,” Penn said, with his cocky grin. “It’s got a nice ring to it, y’know. Sashi To-” He glanced back to one of the invitations. “Tamay- wait… give me a minute here, Tamako?” He noticed the slight shift in her expression and lit up. “There it is! Sashi Tamako Kobayashi.”

Sashi smacked him on the arm. “Give the boy a prize,” she retorted. “It was my grandmother’s name, alright? Not my fault my parents gave the typical American name to my brother.”

“I don’t get why you’re embarrassed-” Penn said casually, with a shrug.

“I’m not embarrassed-” Sashi could barely finish her argument, because of course, he just had to continue-

“-because if you had an typical American name, that would be kind of boring and you are anything but boring,” Penn declared, stealing a quick kiss from her. “You’re a hero and you needed a heroic name. Your parents probably knew that from the beginning, you were gonna grow up to be beyond awesome.”

Okay, yes, maybe there was a twinge of a blush making it’s way across her expression- just a faint brush of it. Although, in her usual manner, Sashi brushed it off and teased him.

With a playful ruffle of his hair, she smirked. “Flattery got you this far,” she said. “You can quit it now.”

“Not until you say I Do,” Penn teased. “And maybe a little while after that.”

“...I really hate you sometimes.”

“Sure you do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> meaning of the name Tamako: http://www.babynamescountry.com/meanings/Tamako.html
> 
> i picked it solely for the reason stated, it rolled off of the tongue nicely.


	26. “I think we should take our relationship to the next level.”

_**13\. “I think we should take our relationship to the next level.”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

Like any other high school, Middleburg Central High was no stranger to gossip and rumor mills. No one was immune to hearing the whispers and quick conversations in the halls between classes. Then again, this time around, there was no manufactured story or myths to be debunked- the truth was right there for everyone to see.

Yup. Penn Zero and Sashi Kobayashi were going steady.

It’s not exactly like they tried to hide it either- occasionally, people would see them holding hands, spending time at each other’s lockers, being alone together a little more often…

...and, like they would always do, bicker from time to time.

“Penn, you don’t have to carry my books,” Sashi said.

“I know, but I want to,” Penn replied, with a slightly bashful smile, as he lifted up her backpack.

“Our classes aren’t even in the same hall,” she protested, trying to yank her backpack out of his hands. “You’ll have to run all the way across campus just to make it to your own class on time.”

Penn shrugged halfheartedly. “History’s nothing but an excuse for me to catch up on sleep anyway,” he said.

Sashi rolled her eyes. “And at the same time, you complain about your GPA,” she muttered.

The two of them stood there for a moment in the hall, fighting over the backpack and each one of them bestowing completely different expressions; of course, Penn was smiling, acting quite amused about this situation, while Sashi was genuinely frustrated.

“Just let me do this one little thing for you-”

“-no, I can carry my own stupid books-”

“-Sash, I’m trying to be a gentleman here-”

“-is that what you call it?” she retorted, finally retrieving her backpack and slinging it over one shoulder. “Honestly, Penn, just because I’m your girlfriend now doesn’t mean you have to treat me that much differently than you did before.”

“Wait,” he stammered, and a blush lit up his entire face. “Uh- did you say-” Penn cleared his throat, but that couldn’t wipe away his stupid grin that almost seemed too big for his face. “Did you just refer to yourself as my girlfriend?”

Sashi gave a halfhearted shrug. “Yeah, I did,” she muttered, suddenly becoming aware of what she had just said. “I mean, we’ve been going out for a few weeks-” She lightly kicked the floor. “-we’re official, I guess. We’re dating.” Technically, a handful of dates might not count, but more or less, it was the start of something and something was a whole lot more than nothing. That was what mattered.

Penn genuinely laughed and his entire face lit up, pulling Sashi into a hug right then and there in the middle of the school hall, for all to watch. And just to top things off, he kissed her cheek- the farthest he had ever gone since that first date a few weeks back- which caused her to giggle and blush, like a real, true girl- dammit, the things this boy did-

“You won’t regret that,” he declared. “I’ll see you later, ‘kay?”

“Okay,” Sashi said, her voice barely inaudible.

She stood there in front of her locker, completely dazed and confused for a moment as she watched Penn run off, out of the school through the wide-open double doors, and what the hell did he think he was doing? Penn was acting like a complete doofus, dancing his way down the front steps of the school, before he kept running and oh, God, she never thought he would do something so unbelievably stupid-

“Sashi Kobayashi is my girlfriend!” he yelled, holding up his fists victoriously as he started to run away from the school.

“You idiot,” Sashi whispered softly to herself- and she felt so dumb for having such a wide, smitten smile.

And one thing was for sure, Penn would definitely be missing History class now. But like before, it would undoubtedly be worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't try to tell me this fucking dork wouldn't celebrate when the adorable badass agrees to be his girlfriend :P


	27. "Come on, let's go and play!"

 

_**146\. “Come on, let’s go and play!”** _

_** ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ** _

An amusement park date. How charming, Sashi had first thought when Penn had brought up the idea. Fortunately, neither of them had puked on the rollercoasters, but unfortunately, a good majority of the games were most likely rigged. So with a few cheesy prizes in tow, the both of them were waltzing through the wonderfully twisted paths of the fair, slightly bashful that they were holding hands, and of course, because he was complaining about how cold it was - during a summer afternoon, Penn did look a little silly wearing Sashi’s leather jacket.

But that was okay. All of it was okay. The whole dating thing, they had finally broken that awkward ice of being on the border of best friends or boyfriend and girlfriend.

...yet Sashi had a feeling that she would never get used to Penn’s antics.

“Sash, are you seeing what I’m seeing?” he said, nudging her a little and pointing down the nearest path.

As she peered over his shoulder, Sashi gave a halfhearted shrug. “A terrifying clown,” she muttered, eyeing the one near the ferris wheel.

Penn rolled his eyes, and took her chin in his hand, turning her head the other way. “Look further,” he added, pointing excitedly. “It’s a bounce house!”

“Your point being?” Sashi asked, with a raised eyebrow.

However, her question was never answered, seeing how she was dragged down the alleyway and straight towards the end of the fairgrounds, where a massive bouncy castle was shaking back and forth on the ground and as expected, was full of screaming children. Honestly, Sashi had no idea why Penn looked so excited for something so simple, and frankly, idiotic too.

She was even more surprised when he kicked off his shoes and tried to drag her inside with him.

“No thanks,” Sashi declared. “I’m not going to fall on my head and snap my neck.”

“Your parents told you that lie, didn’t they?” Penn retorted.

“It could happen,” she mumbled.

“You could also get eaten by a cannibal tomorrow,” he said.

Sashi rolled her eyes, and took a step back, simply watching as Penn dove into the bounce castle and seemed even more dumb than usual, doing backflips, superhero poses in midair, or whatever other dumb erratic stunt he could think up. She had to admit, it did look amusing-

“Come on, Sash, get in here! It’s not as fun when I’m all alone!” Penn called.

“You have kindergartners to keep you company!” Sashi yelled back to him.

Sure enough, an army of small children were pouring in and out of the inflatable house, a good majority of them screaming and whining, which was rather annoying to anyone standing around or walking by. Sashi was fiddling with the cheap glowstick necklace she won back on a claw machine, rather than strangle a crying little girl-

-until she heard Penn scream. Even if he was acting the part pretty well, holding his arm and groaning, Sashi knew he was faking it. She was about to turn around and leave him be, but he exclaimed something that made her freeze in embarrassment.

“Would one of you young children please get my girlfriend to help me?”

Oh, she was going to kill him. She most definitely would.

A handful of the little brats rushed towards her, and she was going to ignore them, she really would-

“Miss lady, your friend got hurt real bad,” one of them piped up.

“He’s not my friend, he’s an idiot,” Sashi grumbled as she pulled off her shoes and climbed into the bounce house. She wobbily walked across the way, and kicked Penn in the side. “Get up, you moron. You’re making a scene.”

However, she should have thought twice before holding out her hand for him-

-Penn pulled her down, and Sashi flopped right on top of him, slightly growling despite her blush.

“Now do you regret coming in here?” he asked, with that dumb smile that made her even more mad.

“Yes,” she muttered, trying to get off of him, but just as she began to try and stand up, she fell back down on him, a little closer than before.

They were both blushing furiously now, stuck in such an awkward position with almost everyone watching-

“Um… wanna go get some snacks?” Penn stammered, slightly pushing his girlfriend off of him and helping her get to her knees while he sat up.

“You’re buying,” Sashi declared, placing a kiss on his forehead and smirking as she stood up and sauntered off.


	28. "Either what I just felt was a contraction or only a cramp... not really sure..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all better realize these kind of drabbles are aged-up

_**59\. "Either what I just felt was a contraction or only a cramp... not really sure..."** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

“Boone Wiseman, I swear, if you don’t drive any faster, I’m going to end up giving birth in this shitty mini-van of yours,” Sashi grumbled.

“It’s a yellow light!” Boone argued, yet despite his statement, he blew right through it, obviously fearing for his life.

“I don’t give a damn, now shut up!” she snapped as she grabbed one of their cell phones - his or her’s, she didn’t really care at this point - and dialed a number she knew by heart. She could only hope that someone, anyone, would pick up.

The dial tone quit, and a few roars and screams were heard, until finally, a voice spoke up, “Huh? Who knew you got cell reception here?”

“Penn Zero!” Sashi shrieked. “You fucking-” She hissed in the middle of her sentence. “You think you can go and play hero while I’m about to pump out your brats during rush hour traffic?!”

“Hey, if you ruin my new leather seats, I’ll kill you,” Boone spoke up.

Sashi gave him the finger, and rolled her eyes when she heard Penn on the other side of the line, stammering and stuttering. “Say something, you idiot,” she declared. “Say that you’re going to ditch that stupid mission and get back in the real world so you can witness the disgusting so-called miracle of childbirth.”

It took a minute but Penn finally managed to say something coherent- “Why is Boone with you?”

With a roll of her eyes and a wince slipping past her lips, Sashi let out a sigh. “No one else would pick up their damn phone,” she admitted. “Trust me, he wouldn’t be my first choice.” She glanced to him, and shrugged. “No offense.”

“None taken,” Boone muttered. “You _are_ gonna make me an honorary uncle to the kids, though, right?”

“If you can get me to the hospital in time, you can be their godfather too, for all I care,” Sashi said.

“Hey, wait, I thought we agreed Phyllis was the godparent,” Penn spoke up from the phone.

“Who gives a shit about godparents?!” Sashi hissed, as she blinked back tears of pain. “Listen to me, and listen good, Penn, if you are not here for the birth of your daughters, I will castrate you the minute they’re out! Do you hear me?!”

There was a moment of silence on the phone- with the sound of monsters and battling on one end, and soft muttering of swears and crying on the other.

For a moment, it seemed like Penn had hung up, until he muttered, “Did you say daughters?”

Sashi didn’t even care if she had broken her own vow to not reveal the twins’ genders before they were born, and she barely managed to speak as another contraction hit. “Yes, okay?” she shot back, with a slight whimper in her voice. “There’s no Penn Zero Junior, sorry to say, but that’s what you deserve for not being here, you jackass-” She bit her lip to suppress a cry of pain. “Just get back here now. Please.”

There was a crackling on the other side of the end of the line, and a smash, which gave Sashi the idea that Penn was too busy battling villains and monsters to answer her.

“He told me we’re naming the firstborn after him,” she growled, while placing a hand on her stomach and trying not to double over in her seat. “Well, screw that.”

“And this is one reason why I’m glad to be single,” Boone declared.


	29. “Heels really make a difference; I had no idea you were this short.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I haven't updated this in the past few days; working around the house almost 24/7 has me beat.

_**246\. “Heels really make a difference; I had no idea you were this short.”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

Sashi was a tomboy who liked high heeled shoes. After that incident on the playground when they were kids, Penn and Boone never questioned what she did and didn't like. But now, it all seemed to make sense. Penn had told her this was a casual date, and typically, even then, she went with shoes that displayed a little bit of height- yet today, she wore sneakers for the first time in a long time.

“Never went through a growth spurt?” he asked, as he stared down at her. Yes. Stared down at her.

“Screw you,” she shot back. “I ought to dump you on the spot for that.” Of course, he knew she was kidding- the light in her eyes said it all.

Penn chuckled. Typically, she wasn’t that much shorter than him, yet it seemed now…

“If you laugh, I’ll hurt you,” Sashi declared.

“Oh, come on,” he retorted. “You’re kind of cute like this.”

“Don’t call me cute,” she grumbled.

Of course, she was always cute when she was mad. Her stiff upper lip, her wrinkled nose, the creases in her forehead smushing together, her pretty brown eyes narrowing and turning black. When she wanted to kill him, that was a different story. Either way, though, Penn had found out a way to calm her down, or at the very least, lower her temper.

“I’m sorry, okay?” Penn said, as he pulled his girlfriend into a hug- oh, wow, she was _really_ short without heels. He could literally place his chin on the top of her head-

-which apparently, Sashi sort of liked. She sighed and returned the embrace. “No, you’re not,” she mumbled.

A soft laugh escaped Penn and he smirked. “You’re right,” he replied. “I’m not sorry, because if I was, I wouldn’t do this!”

“Do wha-” Sashi’s sentence was cut off into a shriek as she was suddenly lifted off of her feet. “ _Penn!_ Put me down!”

“Look at you!” he teased, with a grin she loved to hate. “Wait, wait, I have an idea-”

Sashi reached out to slap him, but she was lifted a little higher and yes, she might have been blushing. Just a little. That is, until her boyfriend did something so stupid she almost found it funny. Almost.

“It’s the circle of life!” Penn said in between laughter.

“That’s it!” Sashi snapped, slapping his shoulder and about to kick him right in the shin.

“I’m definitely not sorry,” Penn declared when he placed his girlfriend back on the ground. He snatched her wrist just before she could slap him and he leaned in, placing a kiss on her forehead. “Besides, that was worth it.”

“I hate you so much,” Sashi muttered.

Penn lifted her face up, and briefly kissed her lips, despite her frustration. “I know you do,” he said. “But would a marathon of the first three Fast & Furious movies at my house make you feel better?”

“Maybe,” she said, biting back her smirk. “But you better watch your back.”

“Sash, ever since I started dating you, when don’t I?” he mused.

She was trying her hardest not to laugh and smile. Really, she was. But that boy could be such an idiot sometimes...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Sashi is shown to be shorter than Penn and Boone in the show so I have every right to run with this.  
> 2) She's already adorable but she's even cuter when she's short.  
> 3) Watch out, Penn, in a few years, I headcanon she'll be taller than you.  
> 4) I'm only 4'11" so I feel the pain.  
> -the end-


	30. "I've got a romantic surprise for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're still dating in this one but they're aged up

_**97\. "I've got a romantic surprise for you."** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

“Never pegged you to be the nightgown type,” Penn murmured, with a low whistle.

Sashi bashfully smiled, and hesitated as she brushed her hair out of her face. “I’m not,” she said. “I just thought- well-” She cleared her throat to prevent stammering and curled out of the slouching position on the bed. “You didn’t forget, did you?”

Penn was too busy drinking in her appearance, that it took him a minute to properly process what she had said. “No!” he replied. “Definitely not.” He stepped over to the bed, perhaps a little too eagerly, and his gaze never left the sight of her. “Red’s your color, by the way.” He was about to tackle her right then and there, but Sashi placed a hand on his chest to keep him stable.

“So what’s today?” she mused.

“You really think I forgot?” Penn said, with a breathless laugh as he pressed their foreheads together. “It’s our third anniversary.”

“Just making sure,” Sashi replied, taking him by his shirt collar and pulling him in for a sweet kiss. “Also, it was about time you got home - I was about to ditch this stupid so-called dress.”

Penn softly laughed as he pulled his girlfriend into his lap, and he kissed all along her cheeks and neck. “I wouldn’t have minded,” he spoke up.

Of course, this comment got him a light slap on the arm, but Sashi decided not to argue about it this one time. Instead, she melted into this moment- enjoying the fact that she had devoted three crazy, wild, unpredictable and adventurous years to Penn. She released a sigh when she was laid down on the mattress, and their lips met once again, much more fiercely this time around, and their hands began to run all over each other-

-however, Sashi’s hands stopped when they got to her boyfriend’s chest. It felt unusually firm. She fiddled with the buttons of Penn’s flannel, fumbling to open it, and she pulled away from their kiss, frowning at him.

“The chainmail?” she groaned. “Are you kidding me right now?”

“It’s not like I knew you were going to seduce me when I got home,” Penn retorted.

“It’s going to take forever to get this off of you,” Sashi mumbled, fiddling with the intricately woven metal.

Penn placed a kiss on her forehead, and smiled at her. “Look, we can do this later, okay?” he said, ignoring her pout. “I’ve got a better surprise for you anyway.” He stared down at her lithe, muscular body, just barely covered by the nightgown. “Okay, almost better. But close enough.”

Sashi raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really?” she mused.

“Yes, really,” he declared. “We’ll take a little trip on the MUT to 1910 Paris.”

“The last time we visited there, we were alleycats,” she muttered, with an eye roll.

“Don’t worry,” Penn chuckled. “I requested some tweaks. It’ll be perfect, I promise. And then-” He placed a kiss on Sashi’s neck, biting just enough to leave the faintest hickey. “-we can get back to this.”

With a light hum of satisfaction, Sashi managed a soft laugh. “We better,” she retorted, giving a wink. “But before we go, mind helping me out of this?” Her expression shifted from playful to stone-cold serious. “Because I think I tied the stupid corset too tight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what are these references you speak of?!


	31. “We should probably start thinking of names for the kid(s) now."

_**250\. “We should probably start thinking of names for the kid(s) now."** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

There were four columns on the piece of paper, with the entire sheet covered in names. Top was for boys, bottom was for girls; the left was first names and right was middle names. The loveseat in the apartment’s living room was usually roomy, but of course, given the circumstances, it was a little snug. Sashi let out a sigh and continued to tap the pencil against the side of the chair, while letting Penn’s fingers dance across her stomach, despite the fact that it was ridiculously ticklish. Between them, there was an entire paper full of names … for only two kids.

“So are we ruling out Yvonne for a first name?” Sashi mused.

“My mom would want to kidnap the mini her, so yes,” Penn replied.

“I’ll put it in the middle name column,” she retorted.

Sashi scrawled the name down on the bottom right column, joining it with many other names they most likely wouldn’t use, yet it never hurt to be prepared. She rolled her eyes when she noticed her husband pick up that stupid baby name book he had bought off of the Internet.

“We already have enough names on this stupid list,” she groaned.

“Arabella means eagle heroine, we have to use that one,” Penn said excitedly. “Imagine explaining that one. Little Arabella Zero, you were named after an eagle and a hero, how cool is that?!”

“No,” Sashi said flatly. “Too girly.”

Penn rolled his eyes. “If we have a girl, she might not be a tomboy like her mother was, and still sort of is,” he argued.

Sashi tapped his nose. “Then again, who’s carrying your children? Who’s going to have endure the pain that is labor for bringing them into the world?” she drawled. “So who deserves the major say in what those children are going to be named?”

“Fine,” Penn sighed, with a dramatic wave of his hands. “I’ll have to explain to our kids that you shot down all of the cool names.”

“Excuse me, Athena is a good name,” Sashi snapped, lifting up the piece of paper and pointing at one of the names in the bottom left column. “And I agreed to use Penelope as a middle name. Let’s not start, hmm?” The glare in her eyes was her usual one, just amplified a little. She peered over to the pages in the book, and gave a small nod. “I like Valkyrie. Could work for either gender.”

Penn snatched the paper out of his wife’s hands and took a pencil off of the coffee table, adding the name to the top and bottom left columns. “Valkyrie Zero sounds pretty badass,” he mused.

Sashi pursed her lips and smirked. “Or Valkyrie Kobayashi,” she spoke up.

“So long as it’s Valkyrie Penn or Penelope Kobayashi,” he retorted.

“You just ruined the badassery of the name!” she laughed, playfully slapping him on the arm.

“Hey, my family has a dork gene,” Penn said simply. “Nine out of ten chances is that one of these kids is going to be a total dork.”

Sashi shrugged. “So long as they don’t get your red hair, I’m happy,” she replied.

Penn scoffed. “What’s wrong with my hair?” he said.

“Oh, nothing,” Sashi softly sang to herself as she retrieved the list and began doodling on the margin of the paper. “Fireball.” She relished in her husband’s frustration at the old nickname while she began to circle a few favorite names on the bottom of the paper.

Loralei, due to the fact it was beautiful but could also be intimidating.

Athena, solely for power.

Xena, because perhaps it wasn’t totally terrible (unlike what Sashi had said when Penn had suggested it).

And just maybe, Penelope was going to be considered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *ten years later*  
> Penn: So that's the story of how we figured out your names!  
> Xena: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T NAME ME VALKYRIE THAT'S A COOL NAME I WANT MY NAME LEGALLY CHANGED  
> Loralei: And Arabella wasn't so bad either, Mom.  
> Sashi: *looks into the camera like she's on The Office*


	32. “This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was partially inspired by this tumblr post -- http://saveshootingstar.tumblr.com/post/121370844196

_**80\. “This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had.”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

“I’m not coming out!” Sashi yelled from inside the bathroom.

“Sash, c’mon, we don’t have all day,” Penn muttered, as he slammed his fist against the door. “Just let us see what you look like, you can’t be, like, totally gross or whatever.”

Sashi was heard groaning, and judging by the slow, constant thumping, she was banging her head against the wall. A few faint swears were heard, and after a few minutes, the door creaked open. What the boys were aiming for obviously was not displayed before them. Yes, their goal was a three-part plan - keep Rippen away from the bomb facility, get Sashi to dress up all pretty, maybe aim for something sexy, and obviously unrecognizable, so she could seduce the crazy mad scientist into the booby-trapped abandoned house. The first and third parts of their plan was easy…

...the second, on the other hand, not so much.

“I’d hit that,” Boone muttered. “With a shovel.”

“Fuck you,” Sashi hissed.

“Hey, don’t let being a badass spy get to your head,” Penn said, pointing at his girlfriend. “Now-” He tried so hard not to wince at her appearance. Subtle touches of makeup and maybe a nice, flowing dress were her style. Tight tube-tops, miniskirts and a face full of powder, on the other hand, no. “-we’ve got to get you out of that.”

“No kidding,” Sashi retorted. “I think my breathing is going to get cut off.” She adjusted the chunky leather belt, which was probably bigger than her so-called skirt. “Why do I have to be the one to seduce that psychotic freak anyway?”

Penn and Boone looked at each other, and shrugged.

“You’re the only girl,” Boone said simply.

Sashi growled, her hands balling into fists. “If you two weren’t my best friends, I’d call you sexist assholes,” she declared. “But one of you can crossdress. I’m not doing this.”

“Penn makes a prettier girl than me,” Boone blurted out.

“Hey!” Penn snapped. “What do you mean?”

“Remember that singing fairytale world?” Boone replied. “You looked way better in a dress than I did.”

Despite her frustration, Sashi stifled a laugh. “It’s true,” she added, as she slid off the crop-top jacket she was wearing. With a smirk, she waved it back and forth. “Come on, Penn. You’re the hero. Go ahead and save the day.”

Penn folded his arms over his chest, and frowned, facing away from his best friend and girlfriend.

“Dude, I can fit into a bra and I can get my voice to go pretty high but my face can’t pull off the girl … thing,” Boone explained.

“Are you saying I look like a girl?!” Penn argued.

“You will when I’m done with you,” Sashi teased, as she stepped forward and took his arm, dragging him into the bathroom. “Makeover time.”

There was a brief stammering, and judging by his ruffled brow and intense blush, Penn’s emotions were running between embarrassment, frustration and confusion. He could barely register what was happening, until he heard the door slam behind them and Boone said something last-minute about not making out.

“To be completely honest, though, you don’t look that great,” Penn muttered.

“And I appreciate your honesty,” Sashi assured, stealing a quick kiss. “Now, for the time being, looks like I’ll have a girlfriend.”


	33. “We just have to wait until the next life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To Ruff: because they fell in love with that android AU way back in Chapter Six. Here's an equally heartbreaking sequel to the FEELS! - also, revenge for all the times they've made me emotional over these dumb characters.

_**160\. “We just have to wait until the next life.”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

_“Was never real,” Phyllis said. “Illusion the whole time.”_

_“Then why did you make her seem real?” Penn argued, as he held the limp, broken and mangled metal body of his bionic sidekick. “Fix her. Restore her memory card or whatever. Get a wrench and some WD-40, work your magic, you’re good at this stuff. You made her.”_

_Phyllis stared at the cyborg, and poked it with one of her remotes. “It was prototype,” she replied, with a nonchalant shrug._

_“It?” Penn mumbled. “ **She** had a name. Sashi meant something. Boone and I would have been goners a long time ago if it wasn’t for her.”_

_“Which is why you will have new robot sidekick soon,” Phyllis assured._

_Penn swallowed hard, cradling the broken fragments of Sashi he had found in the demolition. “I don’t want a new one,” he muttered, screwing his eyes shut to prevent tears. “I want her back.”_

_Before all of this, she never seemed like the robot assistant she was created to be. Sashi was like a friend, almost a person- despite her super strength, sharp wit and other inhumane abilities. But when she wasn’t a killing, fighting machine, she did seem normal. Sure, she wouldn’t blink and her skin was half metal, half synthetic fabric, but it was close enough to seem real._

_Close enough for Penn to think she was a real girl. One who had a heart. And maybe, in some sort of twisted mechanical way, she did have one. A bundle of wires dangled out of her destroyed frame, and that was the closest she’d ever have. The oil on his hands was her blood._

_“Phyllis, please,” Penn said, his voice slightly cracking as he looked up at the technician. “Bring her back to me.”_

_With lips pursed and hands on her hips, Phyllis shook her head. “Only for you, Penn,” she muttered, taking the pieces from him. “I will see what I can do.” She rummaged through the mess of wires, metal and other misfit mechanical things, holding out the crooked yet otherwise indestructible specs. “Keep these. Until I fix her.”_

_Penn’s hands were shaking as he took the specs and he nodded. “Thank you,” he mumbled._

_The single, slow nod Phyllis gave said everything and nothing all at once._

 

**••••••**

 

“Nice to meet you,” the cyborg said, in the same voice that had been echoing in Penn’s mind all of these months. “I’m Sashi.”

He wanted to hug her, tell her how much he had missed her and that it was so great to have her back…

...but something seemed off. Her brown eyes were black, she wasn’t smiling, and she seemed so still. Like the robot she was meant to be, like she had no subconscious or control of her own, unlike the previous model. Penn had already decided he didn’t like this. It wasn’t the Sashi he had gotten to know the past year before the Incident.

“Phyllis,” he whispered. “What is this?”

“Fixed her,” Phyllis said, wiping her hands on an already oily rag. “Not so real now, hmm?”

“But-” Penn hesitated, reaching out to touch Sashi, who backed away, alarmed by the action. The old Sashi would have been hesitant but open to affection. “-this isn’t Sashi.”

“I know who I am,” the cyborg interjected. “I’m your bionic sidekick.”

Penn ignored this duplicate, this fake, and looked at Phyllis sincerely. “You said you would bring her back to me,” he said shakily.

As she placed a hand on his shoulder, glancing up at him, Phyllis’s unnaturally deep green eyes narrowed. “I did,” she said. “Not in way you wanted? Yes. But she never understood you. She wanted to, and that is not how cyborg should act.”

She didn’t need to say it, but Penn knew she was sorry. He also knew how stupid he really was.

“Are you need in of any assistance today? Will there be a mission today?” Sashi asked.

“No,” Penn muttered, somehow mustering up the courage to look into those cold, boring black orbs with no more spark. They weren’t eyes, not the artificially perfect ones he had gazed into so many times. “You can’t help me this time, Sash.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shut up, I will always think Phyllis is the honorary tough-love grandma to the Part-Time Hero Trio and you can't stop me.


	34. “Can I kiss you?”

_**181\. “Can I kiss you?”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

So maybe there was a reason why they called it the final frontier. This was the middle of space, with comets on fire and asteroids exploding left and right while alien warriors battling it out on the endless valley of planets. And the warriors had a wounded General, with a worried Lieutenant and an AWOL Major.

“Fix him. Now,” Sashi declared.

“Lieutenant, we’re not familiar with a DNA system such as his,” one of the nurses explained. “It’s far more complex compared to our own.”

“I don’t care what it takes, just make sure he’s alive,” Sashi ordered, taking the alien by the collar of their jumpsuit. “Or I’m throwing _you_ out there on that battlefield. You can take his place. How would you like that?”

She was about to punch the alien’s face in when the three-legged doctor wobbled into the tent, stammering and stuttering.

“We’ve found a cure!”

Sashi shoved the nurse away and turned to the doctor. “Then why haven’t you given it to him yet?!” she snapped, pointing to Penn, who was convulsing against the restraints in the hospital cot.

To be honest, it was almost painful for anyone to watch, and if she wasn’t the head of the army here on this stupid alien planet, Sashi hated to admit it to even herself, but she most likely would be crying - just a few tears. That damn rebel alliance and their laser weapons...

“Um, uh, w-well,” the doctor hesitated. “It’s quite simple, actually- he would have to make contact with someone who has similar systems. It involves liquid exchange with someone of his own species, such as yourself.”

“Repeat that in my language,” Sashi hissed.

“I’m not exactly sure how you humans do such a thing,” the doctor mumbled. “But we place our mouths together.”

Sashi froze.

_Oh._

Well then.

She stared at Penn, how he was having mini-seizures from that attack, and she also recollected the fact that back home, they had been together but never kissed- this was singlehandedly the most inappropriate time to do such a thing, but if it would save him, then it was definitely worth the awkward aspect of the moment. She gave a nod to the doctor and nurses, glancing to her boyfriend, who was in pain from the cruel alien torture.

With a hesitant step towards him, Sashi glanced at all of the other aliens. “If you don’t mind, I would like some privacy,” she muttered. “Us humans consider this action personal.”

The small troop of warriors and nurses along with the doctor exited the tent, and a deep breath released Sashi.

“Okay, Penn,” she said softly, standing right next to him, wincing at his condition. “We’re going to have to redo this when we get back home.”

As she swallowed hard, Sashi pushed up her glasses and licked her lips, due to lack of lip gloss. She had no idea what she was doing- and was she really going to have her first kiss with her boyfriend who was having seizures summoned by strange space magic? Apparently so.

She kneeled down, holding Penn tightly by his shoulders as she leaned forward, planting her lips on his cold, blue ones. Were her eyes supposed to be closed? She closed them anyway, even if Penn’s were wide open- perhaps from surprise or his condition. Sashi counted a few seconds- one… two… three… four… - and then pulled away.

Penn was okay, despite his stammering. He was his usual stupid self again.

“That was, uh-” He blushed. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it,” she replied. “Seriously. Don’t.”

“We’re redoing that when we get back to our world, right?” he said.

Sashi bit back a smile. “We better,” she teased.

 


	35. "What were you two doing up on the roof?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note: I have a headcanon that Phyllis repairs old, vintage and / or expensive cars in her spare time, so she keeps them in a garage behind the Odyssey. 
> 
> This drabble expands upon that headcanon, and as expected, has teenage heroes being dorks in love.

_**177\.  "What were you two doing up on the roof?"** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

It was an honest prank, she had explained to him. Sashi certainly had a different sense of humor, and what she didn’t explain was how exactly she got the car up on the roof of the Odyssey. One minute, it was sitting there amongst all of the other priceless vehicles in the garage, and the next, it was on the roof, for everyone in all of Middleburg to see. And it was quite the car too, a perfect deep purple it was almost black Cadillac convertible, truly one of a kind.

Penn just really wished that he didn’t go up there to go see it for himself in person, because that just so happened to be the exact same time Phyllis came into work … and if she was mad when she saw one of her beloved cars out of the garage, it was hard to describe how she felt now.

At this point, Penn and Sashi had no idea what Phyllis was saying, but they were most likely curse words in her foreign tongue - whatever it was. So they just stood there, accepting the fact that they were getting yelled at.

“I tell you everytime, do not _look_ into garage, do not _touch_ garage, do not even go near garage, but what do I find?! Car, _on roof of building_!” Phyllis bellowed. “I let you drive cars sometime but no, that is not enough?”

“Sorry, Phyllis,” Penn and Sashi mumbled in unison.

She went back to talking in that jumbled language again, leaving the two teenagers befuddled, but they occasionally nodded and kept muttering apologies, until it finally seemed that Phyllis was running out of breath, along with things to yell about.

“So,” Phyllis said sternly. “Which one of you got it up there? Who’s stupid idea was it?”

If looks could kill, both the hero and the sidekick would most definitely be dead. Instead, they were left stunned for a moment, exchanging glances…

...that is, until Penn took a step forward.

“It was me,” he muttered - and yes, out of the corner of his vision, he could see the flicker in Sashi’s eyes. “It was my dumb idea. Sashi was just making sure I didn’t, y’know, break anything or whatever.”

Sashi dared to frown, and she shook her head. “I was the one who put the car on the roof, Phyllis,” she spoke up. “I only wanted Penn up there so I could show off what I did. I didn’t think that it would get us in trouble-”

Phyllis rolled her eyes. “Don’t want to hear it,” she declared, holding up a hand to silence them both. “Caught you two, so you are both in trouble. I expect every single car to be washed - and waxed by the end of the week. Start now. Supplies are in back.”

Neither one of them dared to protest their punishment as they watched the sage technician stomp off. Penn and Sashi looked at one another, each of them sporting a different smile. His grin was a sad little smile, bestowing his disappointment and hope, while she was on the border of smirking.

“You just had to try and be chivalrous, didn’t you?” Sashi mused.

“I guess it didn’t work,” Penn said, with a soft laugh.

“Your attempt was admirable,” she admitted, giving a small shrug as she stood up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek-

-only for a bucket of water to fall on both of them.

“What did I just say?! Car wash! Now!” Phyllis yelled from across the theater.

Sashi frowned, and looked down at her soaked body. “You know what?” she said, practically glaring at Penn. “Now, I kind of wish that I didn’t admit the truth.”

And yet, despite his girlfriend’s frustration, and the fact that another bucket of water was raining down on them, Penn pulled Sashi in for a real kiss this time around, even if she was protesting and angry when they pulled away.

“You know you love it!” he yelled after her when she stormed off.

“Shut up!” Sashi snapped. “I hate you!”

Penn grinned and ran up to her, ruffling her wet hair as he passed by her on their way to the garage. “Love you too!” he teased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Phyllis loves those cars a lot, but she loves the kids more. She has trouble showing it, that's all, and I will fight you on that opinion. 
> 
> Also, NEEEERDS IN LOOOOVE.


	36. "Don't mind me, just want to remember how beautiful you look in bed this morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Other fandoms (coughGAYSPACEROCKScough) distracted me for a while, but finally, here's a new chapter!

_**105\. "Don't mind me, just want to remember how beautiful you look in bed this morning.”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

They had woken up like this before, tangled up in each other, basking in the pale sunlight of the early morning hours. But it seemed so different this time around, with the sheet just barely covering them, and the only noise in the room was their simultaneous gentle breathing. The bed was practically torn apart, yet it’s not like either of them bothered to notice.

And the thing was, they hadn’t woken up. They had been up all night, together, and just now they were about to drift off into sleep while they were stealing a few last moments.

“So,” Penn whispered, placing a kiss on her forehead. “Now can I call you Mrs. Zero?”

“Never,” Sashi muttered, running her hands through his hair as she snuggled in closer, if that was possible. A weary smile danced it’s way across her expression, and she released a content sigh. “Well… maybe some other time. A few years from now.”

“First day married to me and you haven’t changed a bit,” he teased.

“Did you expect me to?” she asked.

Penn grinned, and shook his head. “Definitely not,” he said.

Sashi returned the smile, gently pushing him down onto his back, and crawling on top of his body, enjoying the fact how they looked so different but fit so perfectly. She didn’t kiss him, didn’t cuddle in closer or wrap her arms around him to pull them closer together; she simply laid on top of him, looking into his eyes and smiling in a way perhaps she had never smiled before. She could barely finish murmuring an “I Love You” before she was slightly alarmed by Penn laughing.

“You never took it off,” he said, taking her hand and kissing it.

“Neither did you,” Sashi retorted.

“At least my ring won’t leave scratches,” Penn teased. “Your nails are bad enough.”

“You know you love it,” she admitted, with a nonchalant shrug.

Their fingers intertwined, and they laid like that together, enjoying the soft breeze and dancing sunlight of the dawn. It was hard to fathom, that not so long ago, they were just friends, just a hero and a sidekick, nothing more and nothing less.

Now?

Their past selves would be beyond shocked.

Sashi was lazily drawing circles on his chest, and she looked up at Penn, with the smirk he could never forget. “You know what?” she mused. “Maybe you can call me Mrs. Zero. On one condition, I can call you Mr. Kobayashi.”

“That wasn’t part of the deal when you said I Do,” Penn mumbled. “Come on, I let you keep your last name.”

“Then we don’t have a deal,” Sashi declared, as her eyes fluttered close.

She rolled off of him, finally letting herself try and maybe get some sleep if she wasn’t distracted by … well, her husband. That felt strangely perfect. Of course, maybe looking back, it all made sense- but she was too tired to reminisce at the moment-

“Sweet dreams, Mrs. Zero.”

“After I get some sleep, I’m going to kill you.”

“Love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you know when I love these dorks even more? WHEN THEY'RE MARRIED DORKS.


	37. "Tell me how you really feel about me."

_**20\. “Tell me how you really feel about me.”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

Sashi wasn’t entirely sure what had compelled to take Penn aside yet again, but it had been two very long, very awkward weeks since she had found out of his little crush on her. At least, that’s what she thought it was. Yet here they were now, sitting out front of the school during their free period, and she was listening to him mutter about his feelings- and yes, perhaps that was what friends did, although, the details Penn were describing sounded a little more than that.

“Look, I know it’s stupid,” he declared. “I don’t even know what caused me to wake up one morning and think ‘ _hey, the girl I’ve known since we were kids is kinda cute_ ’ and who knows? Maybe I’ll get over it.”

“Penn,” she muttered.

“But it’s so dumb, Sash,” he continued. “Like, it’s been more than a few months since I realized I liked you and I was an idiot for thinking you wouldn’t find out. Just-” He rubbed his temples, and glanced away from her. “You were right. We should forget this ever happened.”

There was a pause, and Sashi let out a sigh. “I don’t think we can forget about that,” she said simply, leaning back on her hands.

“Look, it’ll probably blow over soon,” Penn argued. “I don’t get why you’re so hung up on it.”

“One of my best friends has a crush on me,” Sashi muttered. “I told you, I’m flattered, but you can’t deny that since your secret’s out, it’s hard to ignore.”

“Crap,” Penn mumbled.

He let out a soft groan, tangling his fingers in his hair and pulling on it in frustration as he looked down at the sidewalk. He tried to focus on anything but what was happening right now. Sashi had never found out about the crush, they were still best friends without any of the awkwardness, but nope. This was reality. Sure, Penn contemplated running away right now, but he’d always have to come back to the truth, sooner or later…

Finally, Sashi broke the silence. “When did it start?” she said softly.

“W-what?” Penn replied. He looked at her, trying not to get caught in those chocolate colored eyes, his favorite distraction. “Oh. Yeah. Um-” He shrugged. “-freshman year maybe? Like, it wasn’t full blown. I just thought, ‘ _hey, Sashi’s different wonder why_ ’ and didn’t question it. Then… I don’t know, eventually, I started liking you.”

Sashi barely managed a nod, and left it alone. They sat there, then, perhaps a little more relaxed, a tad bit casual, almost like they were friends again. She zipped open her backpack, taking out a soda and twisting it open, offering Penn the first sip. He mumbled a thanks and took a swig of the drink, then passed it back to her.

Just like they used to; shoot the breeze, crack some jokes, share a snack or a soda, act like regular teenagers. Heroes, sidekicks, villains, that didn’t exist for a few minutes.

Now, for sure, this was a regular teenager problem.

“I need more time to think about this,” Sashi sighed. “Thank you for being honest.”

Penn didn’t know what else to say. He just kept staring at the ground, and occasionally stealing a few sips from the soda they were sharing. They tried to talk about other things, regular real-life things, about how she got a new video game and how he was going dirt-bike riding with Boone over Spring Break, but the subjects faltered off as soon as they started.

Then, of course, the bell rang, summoning each of them to their respective classes.

“Hey,” Sashi muttered, gently nudging him. “We’re still friends, you know that?”

“I know,” Penn said- resisting the urge to wrap his arm around her in a hug.

Again, words only felt words. His mind, his heart, whatever else controlled his emotions wanted something else. But they both knew he wasn’t going to do anything stupid.


	38. “That feels different.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was a total mess when writing this chapter. I hate myself so much for making this dumb android AU hell. I hope you're happy, Ruff, because you encouraged me to continue this mess. Also, in a sort of twisted way, "Completely Not Me" by Jenny Lewis (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqPXjqAua-A&safe=active) is a good song to listen to while reading this.
> 
> Tissues are not provided, by the way.

_**53\. “That feels different.”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

Something was clearly wrong with him. How could Penn keep looking at this destructive, almost evil machine, and hope that there was something else? In fact, after all of this time, Sashi no longer fought against his mindless actions, like she used to. When he would do that silly hug, or take her hand and look at her in that way which her systems couldn’t register, she ignored it. She used to try and fire missiles at him or hurting him in other ways, but despite the threats and occasional punch, Penn would persist.

“You’re the strangest human I’ve come across,” she said.

“That’s not saying a lot,” he retorted, with a rueful laugh. “You don’t get out much.”

Her instinct was to fight in response to such an insult. Although, she had been trying to grow numb to certain things. Save the energy for other things. Important things, such as missions. This hero boy had his head stuck in the clouds, that was all.

“What’s the point of this?” Sashi spoke up.

“It’s nice,” Penn muttered.

God… he was messed up. What was he doing? She was a robot, for crying out loud. She wasn’t real. She was almost like an illusion. And yet, here Penn was, with his arms wrapped around Sashi, trying to convince himself of something that wasn’t possible.

“I wish someone could make you a real girl,” he said softly, almost inaudibly-

-but of course, bionic senses pick up everything.

“No such upgrade exists,” Sashi replied automatically. They had gone through this too many times.

“Maybe someday there will be,” Penn choked out.

He stared at her, contemplating what the hell was driving him to like this sort of thing. He was a hero, he should be fearless and not afraid of anything, but his feelings were the villain he could never defeat. Perhaps in an effort to comfort him, she had learned this strange move after one sudden action a few weeks back- and Sashi leaned in, placing her cold, metal lips on his warm, flesh ones.

It didn’t help this time, though. In fact, the levee broke and Penn unfortunately started crying.

“Tears will ruin my wiring and systems,” Sashi said.

“I don’t care,” he shot back. “Maybe you’ll get fixed again, and maybe then you won’t be smart enough to figure out I’m a freak who loves a killing machine.”

“I think-” She suddenly stopped, and so did he.

They stared at each other, frozen in shock. She was an advanced intelligence, yes, but that didn’t mean she could think. She was now remodeled to not feel anything; no remorse, no common sense, no fight or flight, and especially no love.

Yet, Sashi kept talking. “I think-” she repeated, letting the foreign word slip out. “-that as long as I’m around humans, even one, I’m going to understand bits and pieces of what’s going on.”

Penn swallowed hard, and gently brushed her silky, artificial hair out of her face. “So what’s going to happen?” he muttered. “We’re just going to keep doing this- pretend it’s normal? Everytime you get demolished, you become someone new all over again and I’ll always have this dumb feeling towards you and you’re going to go with it?”

“Maybe,” she said, letting her voice go as low as possible.

“Sash,” he sighed.

“My name is Sashi,” she corrected. Of all the reflexes she had, that was one she couldn’t control. Usually, it made Penn laugh, but not now.

Instead, he kept holding her close, letting her heavy metal arms, with their wiry veins hug him. Yes, they were strange, useless actions, and maybe she could always recharge later. After all, she was built to help the hero…

..and it was clear to see that Penn needed a lot of that.


	39. “I need a break.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sort of a gift for Ruff; seeing how they always leave fabulous comments! This idea had been stuck in my head for a while anyway.

_**263\. “I need a break.”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

“So what you're trying to tell me is that there was a giraffe man, minotaur and bear unicorn thing attacking you? And they work for a minion sized demon who has a vendetta against you both?” Sashi muttered, with a raised eyebrow. “Sir, you’re starting to sound just as ludicrous as your girlfriend, or wife, or whoever she is. Do you want me to throw you in the cell with her?”

“Yes! No!” The guy sitting across the way groaned. “Look, Officer, my story is true, I’ll swear on a stack of bibles if you want, but trust me, I do _not_ want any criminal charges on my name. My wife has enough of them on hers.”

Sashi pursed her lips as she looked at the file before her. “She’s often charged with disturbing the peace and-” She squinted, pushing her glasses up further. “-there was a case of assault?”

“It was a false accusation,” he replied quickly. “So was the shoplifting.”

“Uh-huh,” Sashi said slowly. She released a sigh, and shook her head. “Look, I’ve had a long day, so I’ll let you both fly free, but the next time I see that psychotic blonde running through the streets like a maniac, she’s staying in the cell, _capisce_?”

The exasperated young man nodded. “Yeah, yeah, I get it,” he assured, following the officer as she led him to the back of the station; where there was a single cell meant to temporarily hold the unruly.

“Marco! You’re here to bail me out?” the prisoner cheered.

To be fairly honest, the young woman inside looked far too cheerful and sweet to belong behind bars. However, her husband didn’t look as thrilled as she was. Rather, he was embarrassed as he watched the officer unlock the cell.

“Alright, Mrs. Diaz,” Sashi said, as she rubbed her temples. “Try to show up to your trial on time tomorrow, alright?”

She rolled her eyes at the sappy reunion going on in her office, and waved them away as she plopped down into the nearby chair, propping her feet up on the desk while staring up at the ceiling, literally counting down the minutes until it was quitting time- yet her countdown was interrupted by the sound of a phone ringing. It wasn’t any of the ones in the station, nor was it her pager, but instead her cell phone.

Sashi didn’t even bother to look at the screen as she picked it up. “I hope you’re not calling me from an alternate dimension,” she declared.

“That depends,” Penn said, with a laugh. “Does back in time during the 1920’s count?”

“I’m missing all of the fun, aren’t I?” she replied.

“Eh,” There were gunshots in the background. “Probably.”

“So you’re calling me why exactly?” Sashi mused.

Penn cursed under his breath and there was the sound of scuffling, along with some thuds, before he spoke up. “Wanna have dinner here after I help a group of misfits smuggle some beer into a nearby bar without getting my head shot off?” he said.

Sashi chuckled. “Dinner sounds great,” she assured. “But it’s ironic that I’m enforcing the law and you’re breaking it.”

“Give or take,” he said. “So, how’s your boring 9 to 5 job been?”

“Oh, don’t get me started-”

“-tell me. Can’t be any worse than mine.”

A somewhat stammer slipped past Sashi’s lips before she spoke up, “This town is insane.”

More gunshots, more screaming, and of course, that was a car crash, wasn’t it? She could barely hear Penn’s “go on” before she kept talking.

She was pretty sure he could hear the smile in her voice. “Well, it was a slow day, until the weirdest call came in- I had to arrest a woman who was accused of disturbing the peace and she swore that her last name was Butterfly. Surprisingly, she was sober, so either way, I had to drag her to the station and her boyfriend or husband or whatever had to bail her out. He came ranting and raving about some story involving the supernatural. I almost locked them both up and threw away the key.”

Penn laughed, “You sure you want to keep working in that wack town everyday?”

Sashi pursed her lips, and shrugged while switching the phone to her other ear. “I’m this close to a promotion,” she admitted. “Chief’s retiring and I’m one of the top candidates-” She trailed off when she heard more gunshots. “ _Penn._ ”

“Yes?” he said slowly, obviously confused by his wife’s sudden stern voice.

“If you’re on a mission, and I’m at work, who’s looking after the twins?” she demanded. “If they’re with you-”

“-relax, Sash, Phyllis is taking care of them,” Penn assured.

A groan slipped past Sashi’s lips. “She means well, but really? Neither of our parents were available?”

Penn yelped as there was another loud crash, and he spoke up, in a rushed voice, “Gotta go, Sash, see you for dinner, love you!”

The line suddenly went dead, leaving Sashi slightly exasperated yet still bestowing a tiny grin. Just another day in paradise, indeed. It almost seemed like nothing had changed at all; they were still heroes hiding in plain sight.


	40. “We’re going to get caught!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly NSFW chapter that made me stop a few times, laugh and ask myself, "Oh, God, what am I doing with my life?"

_**33\. “We’re going to get caught!”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

_“We’ve got, like, half an hour, forty-five minutes tops,”_ Penn had assured her. _“We could squeeze it in if you’re up for it.”_

Sashi sort of hated her teenage feelings and the heat of the moment get in the way of reason (and their study session), but at least she had insisted to keep most of their clothes on so dressing wouldn’t be an issue in the end of it all. Yet right now, she really didn’t give a damn about time or issues or whatever else in the world, seeing how she was pinned down on her boyfriend’s bed- and _oh_. Okay, that bite was definitely going to leave a mark. She’d have to borrow one of his sweaters after this.

After making that mental note, she went back to kissing Penn so furiously that she was positive his lips would be sore for quite sometime when this whole thing was over and done with. They’d probably taste of her lip gloss too…

...and the back of his t-shirt would be torn because of her nails, seeing how deep she was digging into the fabric- maybe taking a layer or two off wouldn’t have been a totally terrible idea-

-wait, why was he slowing down?

“Fuck,” Sashi hissed, her voice slightly cracking. “You idiot, what was that for?”

“I think I heard something,” Penn muttered.

“It was probably nothing,” she mumbled. “Come on-” No, she definitely wasn’t whining and begging for her boyfriend to continue making love to her. She just liked the sensation of it all, and she was _this_ close to release. “-finish what you started.”

There was a pause, and after a moment’s hesitation, Penn went back to what he was doing, much to his girlfriend’s satisfaction. With a low chuckle, Sashi yanked him by his shirt collar and stared at him with narrow eyes.

“You’re going to have to make up for that,” she whispered.

“Oh, am I?” Penn softly laughed.

Sashi let out a soft growl, followed by a moan as her boyfriend held her arms up over her head, and used his free hand to travel down- yes, he was making up for his mistake, and even through her shirt, his touch made her feel electric; and the sweet, fiery feeling began to course through her body once again…

...however, it dulled away when she could have sworn she heard the click of a doorknob-

-she glanced up and Penn looked like a deer in the headlights as he suddenly rolled off of his girlfriend, and the both of them froze right then and there as they saw someone very familiar standing in the doorway.

“Uh,” Penn awkwardly coughed, and yanked his pants up, blushing furiously. “H-hi, Mom.”

Vonnie’s hazel eyes were wide, and she was paler than usual as she slammed the door behind her, letting out a loud, ear-piercing scream which humiliated both teenagers upon hearing it.

With a groan, Penn rolled off of the bed. “I’ll go talk to her,” he muttered.

Sashi fell back, and stared up at the ceiling. “I’m dead inside right now,” she declared.

“Then get back to what we were doing earlier and read about dead white guys,” Penn replied, as he threw the history textbook on the bed. “And let’s hope I’m not going to die too.” He leaned forward, placing a kiss on his girlfriend’s forehead. “Sorry about … this.”

“Now you really owe me,” Sashi grumbled, pulling her leggings back on and playfully shoving him away.

“Don’t I know it,” he sighed.

“ _Penn Zero, get out here **right now** or you’re grounded until you’re thirty!_ ”

Sashi managed the faintest smile and a halfhearted shrug, about to burst out into a smirk as she watched her boyfriend go through the Walk of Shame into the hallway to face the wrath of his mother.


	41. “I don’t like the way they’re looking at you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On this round of Spot The Reference...

**_128\. “I don’t like the way they’re looking at you.”_ **

**_~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~_ **

“That’s the last time we let Boone set us up on a double date with someone,” Sashi grumbled as she slumped in the car seat, glaring out the window.

Penn shrugged. “Aside from the fact that the one girl tried to bedazzle my shirt, I’d say that they were pretty nice,” he said. “Better than a few weeks ago with that couple who summoned a bunch of monsters.”

Sashi huffed. “That was a good date,” she declared. “I just didn’t like that girl. She was a mental case.”

“Do you dislike everyone we go on a double date with?” Penn teased.

“No,” Sashi admitted. “I liked the scientist girl and the skater or whatever she was. And that conspiracy theorist and his supposed alien girlfriend. They were nice. And I liked these girls too-” She kept glaring out the car window. “-except for that blonde.”

The car rolled to a stop at a red light, and Penn glanced to his girlfriend. “I mean, yeah, she was a bit of a prep-” he muttered.

Sashi snatched his hand, rubbing her thumb in circles on the top of his hand. Her frown was heavy, and she tightened her grip ever-so-slightly. “I didn’t care about that,” she mumbled. “I just think that … I don’t know.” She shrugged, scooting over and placing her head on Penn’s shoulder.

He raised an eyebrow and hit the gas, letting them cruise home through the calm night.

“You okay?” he mused.

She almost laughed at how dense he was. Almost. “Fine,” she mumbled.

Penn hesitated, “You’re not looking like it. You’ve been acting weird since we left the date.”

“Look,” Sashi sighed, pausing for a moment. She got caught in thought, pursing her lips and then nudging her boyfriend slightly. “Pull over the car.”

A mumble of confusion slipped past Penn’s lips, but he complied with the request nonetheless. Then, once the car stopped, he was ultimately surprised when his girlfriend grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, yanking him for a kiss so wild that it made his head spin for a second. He was breathless, wide-eyed and dizzy, until he found the composure to let his eyes flutter close and gently hold his girlfriend’s face in his hands.

She sighed against his lips, and broke apart from the kiss, staring into his eyes and snuggling in as close as she could, given their circumstance in the car. Sashi mumbled something inaudible, which summoned Penn to become curious.

“What did you say, Sash?” he said softly.

“I said, you’re mine, you idiot,” she replied.

It took a minute, but Penn suddenly lit up, and laughed. Sashi began to protest, but seeing his stupid wide smile, she found it hard to do so.

“You were jealous, weren’t you?” Penn chuckled.

“No,” Sashi snapped. “I just didn’t like the fact that the blonde one kept staring at you. The sweater obsessed one, I could deal with.” She dove in for another kiss, but she was slightly pushed away. “What?” Oh, yes, she was indeed the cutest when she was mad- her teeth gritted, brown eyes flickering into black, furrowed brow…

...he really was trying not to smile and laugh.

Penn placed a kiss on his girlfriend’s forehead. “You were jealous,” he softly sang. “Sashi was jealous. _She looooves me~_ ”

Sashi growled, and rolled her eyes. “Yes,” she muttered. “You're right.”

She kissed him before he could cheer of his silly little victory-

-but when they broke apart, of course, he had to push her buttons.

“But for the record, though, I think the blonde was winking at _you_ ,” Penn added.

“We’re not going on double dates anymore anyway,” Sashi assured. “I don’t like sharing you, you dork.” She ruffled his hair, and placed a kiss on his cheek, about to travel back to his lips, when he kept her away yet again, which frustrated her. “What is it this time?”

Penn’s grin was something that was both adorable and annoying; the worst kind of paradox. “You were jealous,” he laughed.

Sashi groaned. “I already admitted that,” she said.

“I know,” he mused. “It’s just cute seeing you get all frustrated over something so stupid.”

“You’re the worst sometimes,” she replied.

“Yet you still insist on dating me?” Penn asked.

The sweetest little smile snuck it’s way across Sashi’s expression and she managed a small nod. “Of course I do,” she said softly, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Now-” She let out one of those adorable high-pitched giggles. “-would you quit being sappy?”

Penn stole a quick kiss from his girlfriend. “Would you quit being cute?” he playfully retorted.

Sashi got flustered for a moment, and then gently shoved him away. “Just drive me home,” she muttered. “Dork.”

One half of her wanted to slap that stupid smile off of his face, and the other half wanted to kiss the smile so much, it’d be sore for hours. Sometimes, she really didn’t know what to do with him - except for the undeniable fact she loved him… 

...and yes, she was a smidgen protective of him. 

Just a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's your hint: two OTPs, a nod to ruff and a crack ship.


	42. “I never meant to hurt you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey... hey... whatever you do, don't listen to "Breathe" by Taylor Swift while reading this. Okay? Okay. Enjoy.

_**15\. “I never meant to hurt you.”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

“What am I doing?” Sashi whispered, as she fell back against the car seat.

“You’re dragging your poor mother out at one in the morning to go confess your feelings to a best friend?” Mrs. Kobayashi teased.

Sashi stared out the window, looking at the house lit up by the dim streetlight. “I don’t have feelings,” she grumbled. “Not exactly. I just-” She screwed her eyes shut. “I have to apologize to him. Tell him what’s going on.”

“It’s fine, sweetie,” Mrs. Kobayashi assured. “After all, I was expecting you to have a teenage breakdown one of these days. All kids your age do.”

A groan slipped Sashi’s lips, and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “It’s not a breakdown, Mom,” she retorted, fiddling with her seatbelt. She wasn’t sure if she should keep it on and demand to go home, or rip it off, slide out of the car and run right into the Zero residence.

There was the eerily calming sound of night passing between them, until Mrs. Kobayashi reached out, holding her daughter’s hand.

“You don’t have to feel pressured to like him back, honey,” she said.

“I know,” Sashi muttered. “But one thing’s for sure, I like him enough to not lose him. And I think I might have.”

Mrs. Kobayashi gave a small nod, with a hint of a smile. “Well, you better get him back then,” she murmured.

With a deep breath, taking plenty of time to inhale and exhale all of her anxiety, Sashi got out of the vehicle, slowly making her way up the stairs and around the back of the home. She hopped the picket fence, nothing new here, she’d act like she was going to see Penn for a regular reason. She grabbed a small pebble from the garden and chucked it towards the roof, letting it bounce off of the windowsill and tap the glass.

Sashi hissed his name, and was surprised when she saw him lift open the window, staring down at her with a tired expression.

“Hey,” he said, waving down to her.

She managed a small, pathetic wave back. She hadn’t seen him, aside from school and work, and that sort of killed her inside. Penn was her best friend; she had known him since the second grade. There was no way she was going to lose him over something this stupid. So Sashi started scaling up the tree nearby, taking one branch at a time, just like how she was managing her thoughts right now-

-and she did indeed smile when Penn offered to help her into his bedroom.

“What’re you doing here?” he asked, in a hushed tone of voice.

Sashi froze at finally hearing those words she somewhat dreaded all night, ever since this thought creeped into her mind. “I… I-” She swallowed hard. “I had to talk to you.”

Penn raised both of his eyebrows. Sure, she made a few impromptu visits like this before, and he liked that sort of surprise, but lately, all Sashi had wanted to talk about was the incident that happened a few weeks back; it was the cold iceberg between them that refused to melt.

“Okay,” he muttered. “Talk.”

Her mouth was dry, her tongue stiff as a board, her mind going blank, she could only blurt out one word- “Sorry.”

“For what?” Penn replied. “You didn’t do anything.”

“Y-yeah, I did,” Sashi said, running a hand through her hair, which was loose and falling in front of her face here and there. “I tried to lead you on, didn’t I? I’ve seen the way you’ve been acting, Penn. The way you don’t do things you used to. The arguing with me, compliments, jokes, I was so stupid to not realize it all. Then, when I found out, I kept trying to make you feel better about it a-and… it never worked.”

“Sash-” He either wanted to kick her out of his house or kiss her right then and there; which one, he wasn’t sure. “I - I’m done.” He looked down, ignoring her beautiful brown eyes going wide. “I should have known that I didn’t have a chance and I was going to ruin our friendship-”

Sashi frowned. “Shut up,” she declared. “Shut up. You didn’t ruin anything.”

Penn looked exasperated, and he shook his head. “I’m fed up with this!” he argued. “You want to pretend nothing happened, _now_? After these weeks, when I kept telling you to quit it? So you come to my house, middle of the night, and confuse me even more?!”

“I know,” Sashi practically whined. “I’m just as freaked out as you are a-and-” She swallowed hard, reaching under her specs and rubbing her eyes in frustration. “-I just want the old Penn back. The one I liked. Not _like_ -liked. I mean, maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. I… I don’t know.” She stepped to the side, sitting down on the edge of his bed. “What the hell am I doing?”

The cool night-time spring breeze danced in from the window, crickets chirped here and there, and aside from those things, all that could be heard this night was the heavy breathing of two very confused teenagers.

Part of Penn’s subconscious told him to say _“Sashi Kobayashi, I might be falling in love with you and it’s killing me”_ and the other part told him to leave her be, let her freak out.

Either way, he only wanted to make her feel better.

“I.... I want us to hang out again,” Sashi finally blurted out. “Do what we used to do.”

“Not a date?” Penn mumbled, as quiet as he could, but she still caught it.

“A half date,” Sashi relented. “You can think what you want of it, I can’t stop you there. I just want to hang out with my best friend again. I don’t get it myself, either.” She slowly stood up, stepping towards him and hugging him for the first time in a long time; and it was very strange for her to show affection, yet Penn still accepted it…

...and yes, okay, maybe he was a little surprised by how long she held onto him.

Then, she gave him a nod and muttered a goodbye as she bounded out the window and climbed down the tree, hopping out of his backyard. Sashi felt every single emotion rushing through her; she wasn’t sure which one stayed dominant, they kept bouncing up and down, off each other like a game of old-fashioned pinball.

It was all a blur as she slid into the car out front, glancing to her mother, who was a bit surprised.

“Teenage breakdown,” Sashi said.

Mrs. Kobayashi grinned and nodded, driving back to their own home. “I expect a full report in the morning,” she mused.

Sashi released a deep breath she didn’t know she was holding, letting herself lean forward, holding her face in her hands, perhaps trying to squeeze her thoughts out… this may have been a small breakdown.


	43. “It’s the first day of summer!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT - other projects and my job have distracted me. here's cute dorks.

_**46\. “It’s the first day of summer!”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

Ah, the bliss of summer vacation. Freedom and all of the time in the world, even if it was for only three months. Of course, the ideal spot for anyone to spend their first day of humid, lazy freedom was the beach.

The crowded, hot beach.

Penn was practically pouting as he sat crouched under an umbrella and chomped on his fourth ice cream sandwich of the afternoon. He had no idea why he thought this would be fun- he forgot how much he hated the beach. He was just trying to do something nice for his girlfriend-

-his girlfriend, who was out in the middle of the ocean, tearing it up on the waves.

He didn’t know that Sashi could surf, but holy hell, was she good. It was actually kind of adorable seeing her light up when they had passed the surfboard shop on the boardwalk, and the next thing Penn knew, she was running towards the water with the board over her head. She had been out there for probably a good hour or two…

…not that Penn minded, that is. She was quite a sight to see.

Sashi was a blur on the waves - managing to recover perfectly everytime she wiped out. Other surfers had given up after a few crashes but she kept at it.

Penn would rent that surfboard for as many hours needed if it meant he could see that beautiful sight… okay, maybe it was a little better now that Sashi was finally coming into shore. There was no doubt that everyone else on the beach was staring too - and typically, another time, Penn would have been jealous - but now, he was too focused on Sashi practically sashaying towards him in her board shorts and bikini top, with her hair loose and blowing free in the gentle warm breeze.

Yes, he was trying so hard not to drool.

“You’re missing out on all the fun,” she said, with a smile as she plopped down onto the beach towel, and leaning back to take in the sun’s rays.

“Nah, I don’t think so,” Penn replied, returning the grin.

Sashi raised an eyebrow as she looked at her boyfriend, who hadn’t moved from his seat since they had set up their mini camp on the massive shore. “Come on,” she spoke up, standing up and taking him by the arm- only to recoil, wiping her hand on her shorts. “What the hell, Penn, did you take a bath in sunscreen?”

“Maybe?” Penn chuckled.

Sashi rolled her eyes. “It was your idea to come here,” she declared. “And you haven’t done a thing.”

Penn shook his head, and held up a wrapper. “I’ve eaten lots of ice cream. And I’ve been watching you surf,” he pointed out. “That’s a thing.”

He slightly yelped in surprise when his girlfriend sat on his lap, but he smiled like a fool when she kissed his cheek.

“Let me teach you how to surf,” Sashi offered, with her famous half-smile half-smirk.

“If I walk into walls on a regular basis, can you imagine me on a surfboard?” Penn replied. “Besides, you’re probably swimming with sharks out there.” He brushed her wet hair to the side, placing a kiss on her neck.

Sashi let out one of her high-pitched giggles, and yanked Penn out of his chair. “I was telling you, not asking you, you dork,” she said.

Before he knew it, he was being dragged down to the water and Sashi was trying to get him to stand on the surfboard-

-which he slipped on the moment he stood up on it.

“Told you,” Penn muttered, with his face in the sand.

Sashi paused, and then bent down to help him up. It was clear to see that she was biting back a laugh, so she suppressed it by pulling Penn in for a sweet kiss, causing him to fall against her for a moment because okay, yes, this was a time to swoon. A perfect beginning to what felt like an endless summer and all they had was each other with so many potential adventures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> summer love fascinates me okay? i'm sorry for that cliche ending but OH WELL.


	44. “I’ve tried forever getting out on my own.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my longer chapters but I couldn't help but run with this idea.

_**112\. “I’ve tried forever getting out on my own.”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

The metal box was shrinking in size. Slowly but surely. It was boiling hot, suspended over a volcano- this was it. This was the end of him. It was going out with a bang, yes, but this wasn’t how it was supposed to end. No, no, no- the hero won. Always.

But not this time.

Penn was smashing his fist against the thick titanium, over and over and over, hoping to make a dent, a scratch, _something._ His walkie-talkie was spewing out static, and outside the box, he could hear maniacal laughter- he had to get out, he had to get out- This was not how it was supposed to go down. He was going to bust out of here and save the day, like the hero he was-

-it was getting hotter. Oh, God, how close was he to the lava that would boil him alive?

He wiped the sweat off of his brow and forced himself for crouch down - the box was shrinking, he had no room, he was going to melt… this really was a master evil plan. But Penn wasn’t going to go down so easily. He suppressed a cough and shoved himself against the side of the box, making it shake on the chains, but do nothing else.

He felt the walkie-talkie vibrate with a signal, and after a few more crackles, there was a voice heard.

“PZ?” It was Sashi. Of course. “Answer me. Now. Prove to me you’re not dead and I didn’t punch a mad scientist’s face in for no reason-” Her voice cracked. “-dammit, how do you work these controls?!”

“I’m here,” Penn grunted out.

She was breathing heavily, and a few buzzes were heard, along with the clanging of other machinery.

“Boone! How much longer do we have?!” she yelled. “Five minutes. Okay, Penn, you have five minutes until you melt into nothingness.”

Penn couldn’t believe he found something humorous in this situation, but he couldn’t hold back with a sly remark; “You always know just what to say, Sash.”

“You idiot-” He could see her gritting her teeth, probably holding back tears. “-I’m getting you out of there.”

Okay, so maybe Spy World wasn’t as fun as they thought it would have been. They knew it was a little more dangerous and risky than the other multiverses they had visited, and they had all experienced brushes with death before, but nothing like this. Penn was feeling sicker within every second, on the verge of fainting, he could barely find the strength to punch the box anymore. The hero was the downfall of the mission this time around, oh, how ironic-

“Stay with me,” Sashi mumbled. “Keep talking. Say something, anything.”

“Um,” Penn groaned, rubbing his temples. “I’m hot right now, Sash. Really, really hot.”

“No, you’re not,” she replied, managing a breathless laugh. “You’re not hot. You’re adorable.”

He shook his head and smiled at her terrible joke. “No, seriously, I’m about to boil to death in here,” he choked out. “Did you guys win the mission?”

A few beeps and clicks were heard, until Sashi managed her response, “Yeah. We did. But if I don’t get you out of there, it’s a loss, you know that?” She yelped when a siren started going off, and she was clearly starting to hyperventilate. “I’m going to save you. That’s my mission now, Penn.”

“Hey,” he muttered. “You’re not crying, are you?”

“Shut up,” she snapped. “You shut up, okay? Just … say other stuff.” She yelled for Boone, who was apparently trying to slow down the timer but alas, it didn’t seem that was going to happen.

Penn groaned, now curled up into a ball, feeling quite claustrophobic at how small the box was now, and the heat was getting to him. He was practically delirious, mumbling to himself, trying to stay coherent and normal-

-wait… why was the box going up? And … getting bigger?

He couldn’t even register what was happening, not until the latch on top of the box was flung open and Boone yanked him out.

“Dude, dude, look at me. You okay?”

“Y-yeah,” Penn stammered, letting out a cough. “I just- give me a minute.”

“We thought you were a goner,” Boone said.

He smirked, and nodded over to Sashi, who was running across the balcony; dress flying in the wind and high-heels clicking on the concrete. Penn was now dizzy, but not quite from his condition. He forgot about how gorgeous his girlfriend looked in Spy World…

… however, the display was quickly over, seeing how Sashi practically tackled him as she wrapped her arms around Penn in a hug. She released a deep breath, and then yanked him in for a kiss, just as the familiar blue aura zapped them all back home.

It took a moment of holding onto each other, still standing on the warp pad and unknown to their surroundings, but eventually, they broke apart, awkwardly smiling at each other.

Penn cleared his throat, scratching the back of his neck nervously. “I didn’t get myself captured on purpose, you know,” he mumbled.

Sashi was blushing. There was really nothing else she had to say.

“Thanks for saving me, by the way,” he added.

“To be honest,” she mused. “I don’t want to go to Spy World ever again. Those gadgets only look cool.”

“Come on,” Penn declared, wrapping an arm around her. “Let’s go do something normal.”

“I thought you’d never ask,” Sashi said, as they both waltzed out of the Odyssey, leaving behind all of the adventures and drama and monsters…

 

**••••••**

 

Ugh. It was disgusting. Those stupid teenagers just walking around, acting all sappy, and it didn’t help that they would sometimes do it at school - in his class, no less. Rippen was repulsed by how yet again, the hero and sidekick somehow magically formed a relationship-

-yet, as he got into his car, finally done and over with that mission, he couldn’t help but bear the smallest, faintest grin.

“You just couldn’t bear to tear them apart, could you?” Larry spoke up, with a laugh.

“Larry,” Rippen growled. “Don’t start. Just because I hate the boy doesn’t mean I want him dead.”

“Mmmhm, sure,” Larry chuckled.

“I’m serious,” Rippen declared. He glanced out the window, across the street. “Besides, that sidekick of his would probably send me six feet down if I laid a finger on him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that whiplash didn't hurt too bad.


	45. “We need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote too much cute stuff - so this bittersweetness happened. I'm not sorry.

_**161\. “We need to talk.”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

They hated themselves for it. The yelling. The glares. The fact that the kids had caught on by now. Penn and Sashi had been avoiding each other ever since she came home early this morning. Home from the hospital-

-well, neither of them wanted to realize why she was there. The bandage on Sashi’s forearm was saying enough.

But it was getting crazy now. They had been mad for too long. This was the second night Penn had been sleeping on the couch, the second night their kids had asked if everything was okay, the second night Sashi felt conflicted…

...they had to say something.

“How are you holding up?” Penn asked, as he drifted into the bedroom.

“Fine,” Sashi muttered, not even looking up.

He grabbed a blanket off of the bed, twisting it in his hands while his gaze drifted to his wife’s arm. Despite doctor’s orders, she had been using it - letting her stubbornness get to her. That same stubbornness was keeping them from communicating.

Penn knew that he had to be the bigger person.

“I’m worried about you,” he spoke up.

“That doesn’t give you an excuse,” Sashi snapped. “I’m going back to work when my arm heals-”

“-I never said you shouldn’t!” Penn argued. He lowered his voice, and stammered. “Sash, can’t you just listen to me for two minutes without getting mad?” She was quiet. He took that as a lead. “I’m scared for you. I - I- God-” He ran a hand through his hair. “-back in high school, when you decided to quit the sidekick thing after graduation, I was cool with it. But I didn’t get how dangerous your new choice would be.”

Sashi fell silent, sitting down gently on the bed and barely looking at him.

“You’re brave, yeah, and tough as nails, but you think you’re invincible-”

“-no, I don’t,” she muttered, brushing away her tears.

Penn hesitated, taking a cautious step towards her. “I admire you being a cop, you know that,” he continued. “I mean, you’re the chief now. That’s great. I’m proud of you, but everyday, when you leave for work, I’m scared - because of that.”

He pointed at her wounded arm. Wounded … from a gunshot. A graze wound, but nonetheless.

“Do you think I’m not scared?” Sashi retorted. “I know what I got myself into. I get that some days, my job is more dangerous than being a sidekick. That shootout scared the hell out of me-”

She stopped suddenly, letting out a sniffle.

“I thought you were dead, Sash,” Penn mumbled. “I mean, I didn’t even get a call. I found out on the news-”

“I know, I know,” Sashi spoke up.

Recollecting of what happened a few days back seemed so clear. The kids rushing into her hospital room, Penn crying of happiness that she was okay, and Sashi felt so relieved. Yet it was all only temporary. Now, she was crushed from the inside out.

She didn’t protest when Penn sat on the bed, pulling her into a hug.

“Do you think we did it all too fast?” he asked.

“What?” Sashi whispered harshly.

“The whole … relationship, I guess,” Penn said, with a small shrug. “Sash, we’re about to turn thirty. We’ve got three kids, been married seven years, it went by pretty quickly. It’s all catching up to us, I guess.”

Sashi swallowed hard, giving a small nod. “Yeah,” she mumbled.

Penn heavily sighed. “But I love you, you know that,” he said, kissing her forehead. “I want you to be safe. These monsters, you can’t fight them the way you used to beat up the other ones. The ones you deal with now are worse.”

Sashi nodded again, barely being able to find words; except something she had said countless times to him.

“I love you too,” she choked out.

She managed a ghost of a smile when Penn brushed away her tears, and she shook her head.

“I’m sorry for making you worry,” Sashi said, in her most stern voice possible. “But I’m not sorry for what I do everyday.”

“And I don’t want you to be,” Penn assured. “You’re more of a hero than I am most of the time.”

They both froze, looking into each other’s eyes and trying to say something, anything, but nothing could come up. They sat together, sharing an embrace and breathing uneasily, trying to piece together what seemed broken; but in reality, it wasn’t. It just seemed that way. Like Sashi’s injury, it had only scratched the surface, but it hurt so, so much.

But, then again, they had been through far worse. They’d come out victorious. They always did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To quote Square Mom (aka Garnet from Steven Universe); "Love takes time and love takes work." - this chapter displayed that. Also, yes, I have a headcanon that when Sashi gets older, she ditches the sidekick gig and becomes a police officer. I want to clarify that there are good cops and bad cops, just like there are good people and bad people.
> 
> 'nuff said.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the drabble. I'll try to churn out something happier next time around.


	46. “Let me look after you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, I was going to post this as it's own story, but I figured I haven't updated this in a while so here goes nothing. By the way, quick note - my new favorite song "Growing Up" by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Ed Sheeran was a huge inspiration for this chapter and it's a great tune to rock to while reading.
> 
> Also, emotional Sashi is fun to write. I blame ruff for influencing me on that.

_**266\. “Let me look after you.”** _

_**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** _

“You don’t have to keep doing that,” Sashi mumbled. She gently shifted under her husband’s touch - how he wouldn’t stop poking her stomach because well, of course she’d be huge, she was carrying _twins_. “You’re aggravating them. They wrestle enough in there. Don’t make it worse.”

Penn let out an over-dramatic sigh. “I want to meet them,” he said softly. “Think they’ll look more like you or me?”

Sashi managed a pathetic excuse of a shrug as she leaned up against the stack of pillows, letting her eyes close. Typically, she wouldn’t be so tired this early - what was it, three or four ‘o clock in the afternoon? - but pregnancy had been an absolute drain on her. Taking early maternity leave at her job, eating box after box of fish sticks (she didn’t even like fish sticks), sleeping at every chance she got, the works.

At least she was grateful enough to have Penn by her side, doing fewer missions than usual to take care of her, even if she insisted she didn’t need it. They both knew she unfortunately did.

“How much longer do we have to wait?” he added.

“I don’t even remember,” Sashi muttered, in between a yawn. “A month or two, I think.”

It seemed like forever ago since she had been shaking him awake after he fainted at the unexpected news. But now, here they were, at the point of no returns. They were- oh, dear God, they were going to be parents. To not only one baby, but two.

Just the thought of it caused Sashi to start crying - for the umpteenth time over these past few months.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Penn murmured, sitting up and gently brushing her tears away.

“How are we going to do this?” Sashi said, with a breathless laugh. “Us. Penn, we’re kids having kids-”

“-we’re legal adults-”

“-you still get excited over dressing up like a superhero and saving the day. You’re a kid.”

Penn hesitated, giving a bashful smile. “Okay, but you’ll make a great mom,” he assured. “How many times do I have to tell you that?”

Sashi swallowed hard as she took in his statement.

Lots of words applied to her; tough, courageous, smart, sidekick, caring, but anything under the definition of mother? No. Most definitely not.

Every single worry started spilling out, and she wanted to stop it, but she couldn’t. “We’re young,” she continued. “We’re in our twenties. Shit-” She hiccuped, and brushed her hair out of her face. “-what if we screw up? What if one of them doesn’t make it? Are we going to raise our kids to be heroes, or are we going to hide them from it like your parents did with you? A-and who’s going to stay home to take care of them? I work out of town and you can’t quit the hero gig, I don’t want you to do that-”

“Shh,” Penn whispered, placing a kiss on her temple. He didn’t question his wife’s sudden emotional outbursts anymore; in fact, he was almost getting used to it. “We’re not going to screw up. Thing One and Thing Two are going to be fine-”

“Would you not call them that?” Sashi snapped. “I’m trying to be serious here.”

“And I’m serious too,” Penn replied. “What - you think I’m not scared too? You’re right. We are kind of young to be married and having kids, but come on, what has ever been normal with us?”

Sashi let out a growl, crossing her arms over her chest and letting them rest on her blown-up abdomen.

“If you’re trying to comfort me, it’s not working,” she argued.

Penn sighed, shifting on the bed and attempting to pull his wife into an embrace - which admittedly was a little harder these days. “Look, I’m going to love the little troublemakers no matter what, and you wouldn’t be freaking out if you didn’t already care,” he said, in an easy tone of voice as he stared into her deep brown eyes. “You’re right, we’re absolutely clueless on what to do, but who isn’t when they first have kids?”

After a moment, Sashi fell silent with the exception of a light sniffle. She felt so stupid.

“Sash, we’ve saved worlds,” Penn chuckled. “You really think raising kids is going to be harder than that?”

“Sometimes, we get second chances on saving the world,” Sashi muttered. “We won’t get those with kids.”

Penn pursed his lips. There were plenty of times he knew that he couldn’t win, and this almost seemed like one of them. “We have to try a little harder then,” he admitted. “But we’re always going to be a hero and sidekick, okay?”

As he gently took her face in his hands, he kissed her sweetly and softly. Then, upon breaking apart, Sashi started crying yet again, which alarmed Penn just a little.

Then again, maybe her soft laughter was a good thing…

“I love you, y’know,” she spoke up. “I probably don’t say it as much as you do, but I love you, Penn Zero.”

“I know, I know,” he said, with that stupid smile she hadn’t seen in what seemed like forever. “But if you really loved me, you would tell me what the genders are-”

“-you’ve waited this long,” Sashi declared. “A few more weeks.”  


“Fine,” Penn said, with a mock pout. He gently tapped her stomach, and softly laughed, giving a small shake of his head in disbelief. “I’ll be there.”

They had no reason to worry, not when their children’s futures were so bright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Jump back to Chapter 28, in which he was not there.)
> 
> Oh, Penn, you had no idea what you got yourself into when you married that adorable badass. These kids are only the beginning.


	47. “You make me crazy from happiness.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A really sappy and kind of quick right-before-work chapter for you lot!

_**153\. “You make me crazy from happiness.”** _

_****~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~** ** _

Her words were echoing in the chapel, each statement followed by the soft happy crying of everyone in the room. His vows were very sweet, but no one expected something so heartfelt from her…

“So this is where we ended up. I’ll be honest, this isn’t what I expected.”

Her smile lit up the whole room.

“But I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Alright, perhaps that was a little cliche. But she had to word it someway, and for someone who wasn’t used to voicing her feelings, it worked.

“We’ve been through so much, haven’t we? I mean, there were times you shouldn’t have held me back, but I’m glad you did.”

That one garnered a few laughs from the crowd.

“Protection is kind of a silly thing for us. But I wouldn’t have anyone else guarding me. I also want to thank you for believing in me, thinking that I could be as amazing as you.”

An inside joke, of sorts. For those who didn’t quite get it, but those who did were amused.

“Not many people get to marry the first person they fell in love with… guess we got lucky.”

Sashi was occasionally brushing her own tears away, smiling as she looked at Penn.

“And I consider myself _very_ lucky to be in love with you, Penn Zero. The past five years, since the days I was hesitant about dating you to today - where I’m somehow managing to say something romantic for once, have been amazing. And after all this, we have plenty of more years to go.”

He was smiling like the idiot he was. The idiot she would soon be married to, in only a matter of minutes. It all seemed so surreal. Wasn’t it just yesterday they first met in high school, two seemingly polar opposite kids?

“How not to cry-” Sashi mumbled to herself, with a laugh. She breathed uneasily and shook her head. “I … I think I’m out of things to say. I don’t want anyone else by my side, and that’s the reason I’m standing at this altar.”

Penn smirked. “Not because you love me?” he teased.

The crowd tittered with laughter and murmurs at his interruption.

Sashi managed a half-shrug. “A little bit of that too,” she playfully shot back.

Even on their wedding day, they wouldn’t stop making fun of each other. It was how they worked, and if they changed anything in the past, they may not be here in the present.

The officiator cleared their throat. “Well, it’s clear to see that these two wish to be wed,” they declared. “If anyone objects to this union-”

“-shut up and marry them already!” Boone spoke up from his spot as the best man.

A few people laughed, the bride and groom among them, as the officiator sighed.

“I now pronounce you-”

The statement wasn’t even finished before Penn and Sashi met halfway in a kiss- and of course she would dip him down, just to prove a silly point between the two of them. The kiss was a bit of a show, but it was their wedding.

One more memory, to be collected with many more.


	48. "Who cares if everyone’s watching?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Penn is (almost) the perfect boyfriend. Also, "LA Hallucinations" by Carly Rae Jepsen, aka my new fave song, really sets the mood for the Multiverse that they're in for this chapter.
> 
> (Jesus Christ on a bike, 1000+ views?! You guys are amazing!)

_**208\. "Who cares if everyone’s watching?"** _

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Laughter echoed the massive auditorium; and everyone was playing their part, so to speak. However, most people were unbeknownst to the fact some of the new stars were going to shine very briefly. Or so they thought.

A new duo, with their manager in tow, were cast on the edge of the bustling, dazzling crowd.

“Alright,” Sashi murmured, as she tapped her specs. “Penn, me and you are hollywood stars. Boone, you’re our manager. Me and Penn are starring in a blockbuster action movie, and our mission is to keep Rippen from actually blowing up the movie set while the three of us at the release party. If he manages to blow up the set, then half of the city will crumble from the explosion.” She stared down at the shimmery floor-length black dress she was in, and groaned. “Well, I can’t fight in this.”

Penn chuckled, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Wow, some mission,” he said, with a smirk. “Keep Rippen from blowing up something? We do that with you almost everyday, Sash.”

She held back rolling her eyes - but okay, maybe a small part of him was right. As Sashi began looking around for Boone, who had strayed off, she found herself surprised when she looked over and noticed Penn holding two flutes of what looked like champagne and smiling that stupid smile she knew by heart.

“I’m not going to get drunk on a mission,” Sashi declared. “And neither should you.”

“It’s ginger ale,” Penn laughed. “We’re still minors in this world.”

Feeling a tad bit stupid, Sashi accepted the drink and took a sip as her eyes traveled throughout the party- oh, great, Boone was flirting with some random actress. What was worse, she was actually taking interest in him- Sashi tried to blend in, but she was already thinking up a game plan of how to snatch Boone back, maybe steal a car to the movie set, and she may have forgotten how to defuse a bomb-

“Famous minors, apparently,” Penn added quickly.

Sashi didn’t even have time to register his statement when suddenly, a flood of cameras and shouting people headed towards the both of them. Of course. This was Hollywood World, they were famous, it only made sense-

-but it felt so _odd_.

The paparazzi were yelling names that were neither the hero’s nor the sidekick’s but Penn and Sashi played the parts that they were assigned for today. Assuming other people’s identities everyday was sort of their job, after all.

Posing for pictures was easy, answering questions was a bit of a challenge, but one of the photographers shouted quite a blunt request-

“Give us a kiss for the camera!”

That wasn’t the awkward part. Sashi was perfectly fine with getting a kiss from her boyfriend. The awkward fact was that it was so unlike a kiss she usually got from Penn.

Back home, they kissed no problem - before, after and during dates, sometimes at school between classes, once in a while in the back of her car - and very rarely on missions. But those were all fine. She liked- no, rather, loved those. Yet Sashi couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable as Penn’s arm was around her waist, and their lips were more or less smushed together.

It lasted maybe ten seconds, but to her, it felt like ten long, humiliating and strange minutes.

Penn, on the other hand, was eating it up, letting the paparazzi fuel his ridiculous ego. It took him a few moments, but he eventually noticed that his bold, confident girlfriend was stiff as a board and a bit anxious in the crowd of their supposedly fellow celebrities. He took her hand, leading her away from the chaos and Sashi released a breath she didn’t know she was holding once they found themselves in a calm lounge, a lighter side of the party.

“You okay?” Penn spoke up.

“I’m fine,” Sashi said instinctively. “We should go do the mission already-” She hesitated when she looked up and met his gaze. It was clear to see he could squint through her facade. “-I just have to get used to this world.”

That was one way to word it…

“Sashi-” he muttered.

“-Penn,” she said back, with a bit of mocking in her tone of voice. She raised an eyebrow, and he raised one as well, as a silent sass back.

They were silent for a moment, just holding hands and barely-there looking at each other.

Finally, Sashi sighed and managed to speak up, “That was … weird.”

“What was weird?” Penn asked, sounding genuinely confused.

“The-” Sashi bit her lip and gestured outside of the lounge. “-that. Us, just- being there.”

She was never good with words, she couldn’t bring herself to explain how she just felt a minute or two ago. It all seemed so surreal, despite this Multiverse being rather normal.

Penn softly laughed. “You’re adorable,” he teased, leaning in for another kiss-

-but she gently pushed him away. She couldn’t kiss him again, not in front of all the people nearby-

God. This was not the time or place to discuss their relationship. But if it was one thing Sashi knew about her boyfriend, it was that sometimes his stubbornness and hers almost evened out. He wouldn’t give until she told him what was eating at her.

“Just,” She couldn’t stammer. That would be stupid, and sort of weak. “Don’t kiss me like that again. Please.”

“Oh,” Penn said, with a nonchalant shrug. “Okay.”

“A-and not in public,” Sashi added, noticing the fact he was trying to pull her in again. “That’s-”

“-weird?” he finished for her, giving her that shit-eating grin. “You’re blushing, you know.” He gently brushed her hair out of her face- she looked so good when it was down and flowing. “Sorry about that. I was being stupid, I guess. Letting fame get to my head already and all.”

Sashi bit back a smile, and nodded. “You're right, you are being stupid,” she teased.

Penn laughed. “Is that why I want to ask you for a dance right now?” he asked.

“Yes, yes it is,” she replied.

He would be getting _lots_ of kisses when they were done with this mission, though...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONSENT IS IMPORTANT, KIDS, EVEN IF IT'S JUST FOR KISSIES. RESPECT YOUR DATEMATES.
> 
> (i wrote almost because we all know he's a little shit)

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always appreciated! :)


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